Hi Bren,
There's a saying which goes "you do what you have to do". In your case, you've drawn the line.
Very often, though, there's stuff which you're going to give away for your estate. If the friend is close enough, and there's something that you would will to him/her anyway, it's better to send that goodwill, and declutter now, than to burden the executor. It might have been better to give the grandchildren keepsakes now, and use the spending for the non-family friend.
Now I understand what the elders were doing being so generous with young people! I had to start thinking about end of life recently, after a talk by a hospice organization, which recommended the "talk" with family, as early as possible.
Look at what happened in Connecticut. Coincidently, mom wishes to pray with a rosary, and asked about repairing one for herself.
I've got far too much stuff, and could regift a lot, too...hope this doesn't get you down, Bren, since you've had a tough year
Personally, I don't want to leave anyone a mess of things to do....
