There will always be a healthy respect for things that concern you. This is normal. Anxiety is normal. You know we will be with you.
Davit.
Hi M: I'm off on Via Rail for a 9-hr. trip through the mountains. I will be alone. I've been looking forward to this since last yr. Yes, I have some anticipatory anxiety, but I think it is normal when doing something out of the ordinary because it is probably mixed with the excitement of the trip too. I'm thinking things such as: where's my luggage going to go? hoping they won't lose it. Hoping I don't get seated with a family of noisy children (I do love children but hey, I want peaceful viewing of the mountains, etc.). I am mostly thinking positive thoughts such as, wow, it's going to be awesome, get my camera ready, what an experience and thinking of those waiting for me at the end of the trip. Some parts of this vacation I have had are wonderful and some parts are going to be tough, but I know I can get through this with all the things I have learned with CBT. I'm sure you will too. Keep the faith and BELIEVE in yourself and believe in the joys out in the world waiting to be experienced. Hope this helps.
I leave tomorrow on my journey. I am ready. I am confident. I know that should I waver... I have my toolbox at the ready... and I know how to use it. That said.... I still could use lots of positive thoughts and energy sent my way this week. I probably will have no access to a computer so I will plan on giving on update when I return. I hate to be soooooooooo corny, but.... I love you guys. You are my support. Could never have seen myself doing this even six months ago.
This feeling that your mother is having is normal. It is called vicarious traumatization and if you know it and except it, it helps you not make it worse. Some times she will need a time out. Don't let yourself become worse by worrying. Some of us that support do get anxiety from supporting. We know it and except it because it is just part of how it is. I'm not saying, "No big deal" because it is. I'm saying it is normal and the two of you need to roll with it.
There are always going to be people who set off your anxiety, it is just a shame when they are family. One of my mottos, is fix what you can and set aside what you can't for another day. If it doesn't get done even though you try then it probably was not meant to. Just one of the ways I cope, there are probably lots that don't agree.
In June I am going to visit my mother and step-father for the first time in 10 years. They will be turning 80 and have some health issues. I have canceled numerous planned trips over the years. Partly because I just get along with them better at a distance and partly because they do not allow alcohol in their home. I'm pretty confident that I can go two weeks without my wine. I'm not worried about that so much. Actually, I'm feeling pretty confident about the whole trip... or I was feeling confident. I've learned so much in my time here... no longer afraid of leaving my house, or driving, or shopping. I'm not even afraid of flying alone, renting a car and driving another hour to get to their house.... even though I have not traveled at all, anywhere, in a long time.
So what's my problem? The sudden burst of fear about going to the dentist has me worried that the same thing will happen about the trip. I will be alone and too far from home to be able to calm myself down. Oh gosh.. what have I done?
It sounds like this is a difficult situation. Have you talked to your mother about your feelings and possibly asked her how she would like to support you? Knowing what she is comfortable with and expressing what would benefit you might help both of you manage the anxiety. Remind her that it is not her responsibility to resolve any problem you may have and that listening is the best kind of support to give.
In regards to your sister it sounds like this could be a good exposure opportunity. How would being able to manage your anxiety around your sister affect you? Using the program, what techniques could you use to challenge the anxiety? What would an exposure plan look like.
We are all here to listen and support you through this. Stay strong!
Gosh Tigg... it's so great you have lots of support and no pressure while you try to get a handle on your anxiety. NOT! Sheesh! I would be a total wreck... You are doing remarkably well, all things considered. I have no answers for you... just a lot of sympathy for your situation. Maybe all you can do is try to tune them out and focus on the lessons... Keep coming back and vent as much as you need. We are here to listen and I'm sure others have more useful suggestions for you.
My mother admitted to me the night before last that my anxiety and panic issues are actually causing her anxiety because he doesn't want to see me like that. This has basically led me to now have anxiety whenever I am around my mother and sister who I live with atm.
Last weekend I had my first panic attack in weeks and have been very high strung since. Today my sister was home for lunch and my anxiety spiked higher than it has been in quite some time. I took a Xanax which I am trying to do without and relaxed somewhat but not substantially she leaves. I already have a strained relationship with my sister and am somewhat lost as to how I can deal with this. I am basically stuck in a situation where I am being exposed to some pretty large sources of anxiety to me. On top of this I am very fearful of becoming depressed and making things harder on myself. My mother is a very large part of my support system but I don't want to cause her any undue anxiety.
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