I also like the '10 principle'. You could also think of taking 10 deep breaths in those moments you feel out of control. It is the easiest (and cheapest) way to ground yourself and let go of stress and tension.
Aww. I'm glad we made a connection and are friends too :)
Yes. I find that people pour their stories out to me. Sometimes I think that maybe it's because I'm a Christian and they are maybe drawn to God's compassion inside of me, if that makes sense. I guess I always look for people who seem down and try to give them an encouraging word and then sometimes they just pour things out. Sometimes, I've heard, it's easier talking to a stranger about your problems than people you are close to, it's interesting. Thanks so much. I have a genuine love for people (and animals :) and thanks for saying I would be good at working with people. I appreciate it. I find when you plant seeds of encouragement, that you reap what you sow, and today when I was down, people seemed to sense it at the store and were extra kind to me. And, the Manager of the grocery store wheeled my cart out to my car and loaded my groceries into it. People are very friendly here and I find it wonderful. I am very social and it was difficult in Maryland, because people in my town were just so cold and unfriendly. I laid down and rested for a little bit this afternoon and just decided to "not think" about anything and just relax till Sea World on Tuesday. By then, I'll be ready to go out again and have a good time. I appreciate you.
Do you find that people just open right up to you? It is amazing that a woman would open up so much. I find I attract people who are kind of broke, like me :)
I agree, you just have to take everything day by day. I am going through early menopause according to my dr so I understand a bit of what you are going through. I am 36 and have been struggling with hormones etc. for few years now.
I also wonder if maybe people like us should be working or at least volunteering a bit. Since we find ourselves being the ones other people come too lol. I think you would be good at it, its amazing how you have changed my life in such a short time. Its nice to make connections.
That's good that the Director didn't call :) Email is a good venue :)
I feel kind of down today myself, from stress also. I like the 10 principle. Nothing stays the same forever either. Life is perpetual change. I'm trying to replace my negativity with positive truths today. I've been here for 3 days short of a month. I don't feel I've adjusted at all and feel overwhelmed by how the heck am I going to add work on top it all. My parent's cat tried to kill my cat this morning, so I have to keep my cat in a small bedroom. My two dogs and I live in the second small bedroom. And, I have my own bathroom. I took my parents grocery shopping today and I had to get a few items as well. My Dad bought us lunch. I guess it broke my downward cycle. I met a lady at the grocery store who's husband abuses her, so I talked to her and made sure she has a "safety plan" to get away from him. Fortunately, she has it all worked out and I know she will succeed. She condemned herself by saying, "God doesn't like divorce." I told her, "God doesn't want you to be abused." I think maybe someone else agreeing with her that she's doing the right thing, helped. Her name is Barbara and I told her I'd pray for her that things will go well. I came home and the water works started up again. I had a good cry. I think I'm tired and am having difficulty adjusting. But, this is temporary. I just have to keep plugging along. I guess that's life, we have good days and bad days. I think being thankful for what I have also helps. And, it puts everything in perspective when you meet someone else whose circumstances are more dire than your own, like Barbara. I know a lot of it, for me, is hormonal and that's temporary too. One day, I'll be on the other side of menopause, and will feel better. Hang in there. We'll all make it :) You've done really well throughout this thread. I'm really proud of you :)
Just to update. The director hasn't called or said anything at all. I did send an email just to make sure they go the message. Email is much better, less scary for me.
I would like to just get past all this. Start fresh. I feel very down today and kind of sickly. I think it is the stress though.
I am trying to apply the 10 principle, will this matter in 10 months? probably not. 10 years, not at all.
I think all of our examples, of our thought processes and what works for us, are equally excellent. I think they are insightful to others who are making the decisions for what's best for them. If anyone wants to share their experience, it would be very beneficial and helpful also. It gives everyone more ideas and food for thought :)
I was very much against medication until I realized that for me, it worked. But not necessarily for the panic attacks. I find that I have depression, anxiety and panic so the medication at least calms some of it down. I have also recently found out that this is very much a family thing. We all seem to need medication, my eldest sister is on the same as me lol. Must be genetics.
I do like the cognitive therapy approach but I also like a balance. I find that if I don't have the material right in front of my eyes I forget. So I constantly need to be reaffirming everything. I write up a lot of post it notes too.
I spoke to my sister today and she said basically, all the women in that she has known all put themselves last. I think it is time to break that tradition lol.
I really don't think the Director will call. If you have an answering machine, or caller I.D., you don't have to take his call. I don't consider that avoidance. I consider it not taking unnecessary verbal abuse from someone. And, if you listen to his answering machine message and it starts off negative and abusive, stop and erase it and don't put yourself through any unnecessary stress :)
When I first found this site, I knew I had to do something, because I couldn't live with panic disorder anymore. I considered medication, but found, in my research, that it usually takes about 30 minutes for the medication to kick in and I also read that it takes a panic cycle about 30 minutes to subside. So, my thinking was, if it's going to end on it's own, I didn't want to take the medication route. I'm not knocking taking medicine. It was just my personal choice and each individual has to decide what's best for themselves :) I have no experience with the medication, so I'm just taking the word of the person who did the research. It could be right or wrong, just with that particular information, I decided to do CBT here :) And, it worked for me.
Your welcome Sunflower :) I was once a former doormat, myself :)
The object of CBT is to be able to do anything anytime. And it does do this.
The object of Benzodiazapines is to be able to do something on an as needed basis. Some people do very well on this, but it is all they want. They have no interest in reaching their full potential. The problem is that you can never stop or you will go right back to where you were, maybe even worse.
So I ask the people I deal with what they really want. A surprising number don't want to do CBT. It is just too much work for them.
Doing CBT is not a guaranty if you have a type of personality that is negative. It helps but you have to want it to work before it will.
I saw my therapist yesterday and right away I thought, "what am I doing here". I don't need her anymore. She is in full agreement. I think I just needed conformation that I am better. I got that, and I am better. I still have a few things to watch and this too she mentioned. It is nice to be able to do anything I want to with a minimum or no anxiety. Life is good, anyone can be this way if they want to be, although it may for some take a combination of CBT and medication.
I am feeling ok. I am still worried about getting a nasty phone call from the director of the center where I quit. But I am slowly learning that I can't be responsible for everyone elses feelings. I need to stick to my guns on this one.
Shari has helped me a lot. Thanks!!
I think I have gotten so used to being a doormat that I forgot all about myself. I am not used to listening to myself and putting myself first for a change. I need to do what is right for me. I still, of course, think of my daughter and husband but now I am equal to them.
Now I just need to work this program again and keep coming back :)
