I just noticed your posts, not quite sure if I've seen you around much before. Welcome to the site and looking forward to hearing more from you in the future......
There are for sure other feelings that get mixed up wtih the anxiety, I wouldnt' say anger for me but defintiely irritable...moody. And when I'm feeling like that I get snappy a lot faster than usual.
Also Davit, I too noticed that the site now logs people out after a certain time limit...but I personally don't mind it, sometimes I access this site from the public library or from work and just knowing that it'll log me out automatically kind of gives me the peace of mind to know that people won't read what I have posted, or know hwo I am...but those are just my two cents.
This thing has just logged me out again because I type slow and during times of anxiety I have trouble concentrating. I also don't like to post with mistakes. I don't know who's Idea it is to limit the amount of time I have to post but It pisses me off and I don't like it when I am that way. I also don't like it when I am curbed. For this I dumped My brother and for this I will stop posting long posts since I can not type faster and will not post with the mistakes. Anger is something I have a hard enough time with. I don't need any other reasons to bring it on. I did have some thing I wanted to say but find I can not take the time to retype it. It is gone to cyber space and there it shall stay. If I don't get my act together this one will join it.
When I am anxious and irritable, I go sit quietly in my room and do the breathing exercises and calm myself down. No point in abusing innocent bystanders, especially animals. no excuse here.
I like this discussion posting because I didn't realize that other people have this same problem. It is a biggie for me that I have JUST recognized that I do. I always just thought that I was an angry person with a poor attitude. Panic attacks and the help of a therapist has made me realize that when I get anxious I get irritable and annoyed which leads me to lash out on the people I care about. I notice that when I am not anxious I am a calm fun loving person. The problem is that before realizing what it was I was amxious about 85% of the time. Being in CBT Therapy is REALLY helping me to understand the anxiety and anger and break the cycle. When I get anxious now I try to stop speaking or let the person I am with know that I am having symptoms and that way I feel better without lashing out. I am a work in progress but this seems to help. I am noticing that staying quiet for a few min and breathing helps instead of saying something I will regret later.
This is Ok but do you ever tell your dog that you are sorry. No joke here. Look in your dogs face and say you are sorry.
BREAK the anxiety cycle. Interrupt the flow any way you can with any distraction you can but telling your dog you are sorry and meaning it is probably the best. Second best is laughing out loud at yourself.
I to become angry when I am anxious, and I usually let it out by cursing a WHOLE lot when I'm driving, and I curse at my dog, and when I speak to people (in a calm voice of course) every other word is a curse word and then I go to sleep. Not the best way of handling things I guess.
Talking about it beforehand is an excellent idea. It is normal to feel angry when you are upset about something. Remember anger is a hurting emotion, did you feel hurt by what occurred? How would you have liked your boyfriend to act differently? Specifically explaining why you felt the way you did may be a good idea for us to examine with you.
Another option is to change how you react to your boyfriend. You should voice your feelings when you feel hurt or upset and voicing your feelings without anger is the most constructive way to communicate. Take a look at the relationships and resolving disputes auxiliary sections. You may find these helpful when you discuss your feelings with your boyfriend.
I have had that debate many times in my head about how much responsibility to place on my husband, parents, or friends in situations that cause me anxiety. I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Letting him know ahead of time how you feel and then having some strategies to handle the situation on your own may be good. I think you can expect him to be aware and do his best at making you less anxious, but you will probably both feel better in the relationship and more confident about your ability to cope if you have some of your own strategies such as walking to the bathroom or outside if you start to feel more anxious. That's a tough situation because I know you didn't want him to be worried about you at his grandpa's funeral, but I must say that I'm proud that you went when you knew it might cause you anxiety! That shows him how much you care too! Just one more thought - I was married 7 months ago and we are definitely spending time figuring out how to handle situations together. A few months ago, the counselor asked my husband to come to my last session as he would be the one primarily handling situations with me after discharge from CBT. One of the major things that I took out of that session was that he would always try his best to be supportive in the way that I needed, but I can't expect him to always say or do the exact thing that I want him to. Even if he is trying his best to help me, he can't read my mind and doesn't fully understand what I'm going through, so I have to understand that we both may not react all the time in the best way possible. Just a thought that may help you in future situations like this one. Hope it helps!
