I had a panic attack for the first time in almost a year of not more. I had that panic attack two days ago at around 9pm. Though the anxiety started building at 7:30 pm. I tried to keep it at bay by taking an anxiety pill and by distracting myself. I tried talking myself into being calm. But I had the panic attack anyway. It took all my "take as needed pills" and a few extra pills from an old prescription (I know I shouldn't take pills that are not prescribed at the moment but I needed them) for me to calm down. It also took me talking to my mom on the phone for like 2 hours until I calmed down. It was really a bad experience.
Now, I keep being afraid of panicking again. It's like my worse fear is fear itself. I monitor myself constantly for signs of anxiety which only makes me feel more anxious. I am avoiding doing stuff in case it makes it worse. I am trying to distract myself by filling in therapy homework forms and by reading self-help stuff. I keep wanting to take pills. And I keep thinking:
Oh no, I am going to panic again!!!
or
I am on my way to panicking!
or
I have relapsed and I am going to get stuck like this!
Mostly I think variations of "oh no I am about to panic…"
What do I do and how can I help myself feel better?