Hi Larsienne and unrequited...thank you very much for replying to my posting..it means alot to know that someone actually took the time to 'listen' to my problems. I used to me on several different meds...paxil/amitriptilyne/clonazapam...now effexor and clonazapam...but just in the last month, I've stopped all meds except for a low dose of clonazapam -and I'm a wreck...but I was a wreck on them - just can't cope with the weight gain. I stopped going back to my regular doctor - who diagnosed me with severe clinical depression and has been treating me for 4 years for this - so I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety. However, the meds kept me stable - the weight gain was just killing me inside - so last month, I stopped the meds outright. The weight gain has stopped but weight lose has still to come. I've been to therapists, day treatment in the hospital for almost a year (this was 4 years ago), but there is still nothing that can lift the depression. I really wish I could move away from my parents - as you had done Larsienne - but it's like I can't get away from them - they are my support for my son while I'm at work...and they don't charge huge rent. I know it would be so beneficial for my son and I to get our own place - but I wouldn't qualify for a mortgage big enough to buy a house - and rent is through the roof here in Mississauga and Brampton. I just can't seem to get ahead. Again, this world is geared towards the 'married couples' with the 'happy 2.5 children'....and I just don't qualify for that. I also need to get a place in a decent neighborhood for the sake of my son - since he doesn't have a 2 parent family - and for safety. I cried today, and I will cry tommorow. I'm so thankful for my son - and he is my life - and I thank God every day for him. We'd both love to get a dog, but rules in my parents' house won't allow for it. I just feel that life is passing me by. I've always been a loner, and don't do well in groups. Now the holidays are coming - which is a depressing time of year for me as well. Again, I really appreciate your kindness and I'm glad I'm not alone in the world - there are other's out there looking for friends - and who are in the same boat as me. Hope to hear from you all soon.... Take care and thanks you

Unrequited, I see your dilemna. What do you want? Do you want to be healthy? What do your friends say and co-workers? You need to find your place, the place that makes you happy. If that means you are not the norm, then so be it. This is not an easy route. Have you tried our Depression Diary? It is very theraputic to write things down. What about exercise? I suggest this merely because exercise gives you a newfound energy! Yes, it may help with weight loss, but more importantly, it increase you energy level and metabolism. You will feel livelier and fresher. Why not try it our slowly? Remember what you think of yourself is important. You need to love yourself for you. Today's society is a neverending judgement call upon our bodies. Shed the expectation and become an individual. Please keep posting and let me know if I can help. Josie ___________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.

Josie; I don't think there are any support groups held in English around where I live. My doctor does not talk much, he just gives me medicine. I think Japan is behind in the world of phsychiatry, and especially weight acceptance. I know of one group in Tokyo which is quite far from where I live, and it is overeaters anonymous; a 12 step program which I do not think is what I need. You just have to be thin to be in... At least here, when people talk about me behind my back I sometimes don't understand it. Sometimes they say things like "big, isn't she". In Canada people would sometimes scream at me on the street for being such a large pig, etc. At least they are usually more polite here.

Myth: Cold Showers, fresh air or hot coffee help sober a person.

Fact: Only time will remove alcohol from the system. It takes the body approximately one hour to eliminate the alcohol in one drink. An old saying goes, "give a drunk a cup of coffee and all you have is a wide-awake drunk.

Hello Kathryn; I can smpathise with your weight gain after medications...I too have not been able to loose weight after taking them, only minimal amounts at various times. I am sorry that your marriage did not work out; but I am happy that you have a son to care for, because he is keeping you alive. My parents were also into health, vitamins, minerals, you name it, and walking every day for exercise, and hated me being fat. I believe part of my fat problem came from the fact that my mother was anorexic, and when I was a teen she was always on me to diet; but at the time, I was quite slender, and the proper weight for me. I was just pear shaped, and she was T shaped. So I began to diet to the extreme and lost too much weight, and then I began on a roller-coaster ride of bulimia dieting. taking laxatives, and exercising, and later binge eating when depressed. After a few hospital programs I was determined not to diet again, but to try to eat normal portions, and walk three times a week, and love myself whether or not anyone else liked my fat or not. Now this is a really hard part to keep up, because now I live in Japan, where women are very thin, and anorexia is the lifestyle of the day. We are all prejudiced against when we are overweight. It is probably more pervasive than any other prejudice, and I don't know how to deal with it either. One doctor I had said I was not getting enough oxygen when I was sleeping, and I had a low level sleep apnea, which when it becomes worse, they prescribe an oxygen tank every night, so that you can actually loose weight while sleeping. Others suggest stomach stapling etc. I really can't afford either treatments. And then having said all this, both my parents died young even though their kitchen was filled with health products and they were always disgusted with me and my brothers for being overweight, which they themselves had contributed to. So is there any justice in this world? I said that to my doctor once, and she yelled at me that NO, there is no justice in this world, so stop looking for it. Well that was comforting, I must say; I probably cried on the way home. It's like you said, what can the doctors actually say to you at times? Sometimes they don't know all the answers either. They are not God. M

Dear Kathryn, I know what it feels like to be single in a married or coupled world. I feel such an odd ball becasue I, too, am a loner, never married, and i'm older. I may never have kids! That, is a real blessing you have and many people find happiness through children alone. but that ought not be peoples only source of happiness. i think sometimes like maybe i'm one of those people who shouldn't have kids especially becasue of my problems and my need to be alone so much. I fear of passing the depression genes to any future offspring! My mom "lived " through me when I was a kid becasue her life was full of problems (she's also an alcoholic) and everything she didn't fulfill, she thought maybe she might "live the life she didn't have" through me and my music when i was a serious music student. It was really unhealthy living with her when I did. So now, I live seceral states away from all family and any friends I have back there. I'm trying to eek out a new life here in a state that's full of wild nature and zillions of beautiful hiking trails. I've found that being outside and in the wilderness is therapuetic to my mental health. Have you tried any approach like this for yourself? I've never been much of an athlete or into exercise (and certainly never anything that i'd get bored with!) becasue it wasn't fun and had always seemed like work to me. But walking and hiking is a newfound joy to me that i really feel I NEED to do to help keep some sanity (which is little to nil now)in my life. Do you have a pet? A dog? Pets have done wonders for people who feel alone, are alone and depressed. Your son would maybe get a lot of joy and life experience from taking care a of a dog?! Hang in there. i know what it is like to be a true loner. I have to spend hours and hours alone each day just in order to survive the times i need to be around people. I don't have very many friends and it's almost impossible for me to make new ones in a strange town where i don't know anyone. It's just that deep down i feel this is a better, and healthier alternative to live, rather than living near or with my parents; my mom is in the last stages of alcoholism and refuses to get help for it.) The thing is, I'm closer to my brother who lives even further away from our folks, but wh

Kathryn, You are not in a fantastic place right now, and you seem to be having a rough go. Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. This will better assess the situation for both of you. You need to address one thing at a time. Please take the opportunity to use our tools to assist you. The Depression Diary is an excellent tool for daily receordings. Kathryn, try to take one day at a time and really talk to your therapist about changes you want to make and make a plan. In the interim use relaxation techniques at home on those low days, and spend some quality time with your son everynight. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Keep us posted and keep strong, Josie ___________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.

Hello...I'm new to this group...but I don't know where else to go...I'm a single mother - have a 9 year old son....and I've been struggling with depression for years .... more so in the last 4 years. I'm divorced and receive no child support. I was put on medication 4 years ago, and have gain about 90 pounds since then. I'm overweight, and this just adds to my depression. I have a full-time job that barely pays my bills - but I can't afford to get my own place so have to resort to living with my parents - who are not understanding of my feelings or condition. I'm just so down - I feel that this world is geared towards couples - and I can't find a man to be a couple with. I will never be able to afford a house ...never. I just am almost at the end of my rope. I live to take care of my son - and that's the only reason. But more and more now, I'm getting those feelings that I can't cope any longer. I'm very unhappy in my job - I work in a call centre supporting a software product - they've just put me in this new position with very little training - so this is adding to my stress level and feeling of incompetance. I cry everyday - almost every 2 hours. I just hate my life....I love my son...but I know that he is growing up and will one day leave to have his own family. I hate the thought of being ALONE...and an old maid. It's like I'm not a worthy woman because I don't have a man. I've always wanted another child - when I was married - I had 2 late term miscarriages after my son was born - I was devastated. Today I've turned 38 yrs old - so my prospects of finding a man and have another child are slim to none - especially since I"m overweight and not attractive. I don't go anywhere - and I don't want to go anywhere. I'm consumed by depression and can't get out of this rut. I feel so lonely - and I can't be a normal functioning mother because I am so taken over by this feeling of lonliness. Everytime I see a woman who has a husband and is expecting a baby, I just break down and cry and wonder why that couldn't be me. I'm so envious of women who are married with a family - I just don't know what to do. I really want to be here for my son, but am questioning if I'm doing him any good by crying all the time, and not spending our time together doi