I haven't posted for awhile. I've been working really hard at putting back the pieces of my life. I'm posting because hopefully it will help others and myself.
I was doing really well. Posting here, seeing my therapist, on antidepressants which I dreaded going on and put off until I couldn't think of anything else. I got through the house catching on fire, my dad developing congestive heart failure, still dealing with my son's mystery illness, giving up my other job, accepting the new responsibilities of the new position. Got through it. I functioned. I woke up every morning, and got through.
This week though, everything calmed down. And I can't stop crying. I guess I see this as progress because I couldn't cry before. I couldn't call much feeling up at all before. I'm having trouble waking up again, and getting into the shower. But I'm also waking up at 4am everyday and hoping to go back to sleep..... which I do about 1 1/2 hours later which gives me about another hour of sleep.
So. Finally hit a deep place with the therapist this week that seemed to open up the dam. It's a place that I really really thought I'd already done my work in, but apparently there's more to do. Fun.
Love you guys. Sorry if this is a little disjointed. I'm tired but really needed to check in and connect with all of you.
deb
