Well said Laura. I too am a 4th... except was 4 out of 5 and it was my younger sibling who had a lot of medical problems when he was born and throughout his early life. He is a sweetheart and I love him dearly, but it did mean that I became pretty invisible at an early age.
Maybe part of the core belief is that while I have much to say... there is no one who can hear me. It just takes too much effort to listen to my nonsense.
Sometimes... a lot of times... I can relate to that attitude. I don't want to hear what I have to say either.
Great question Ashley, I see so many connections that I could probably fill up a page with them all.
I will share one though. I've always been a sensitive person, shy and introverted as a child. The last of 4 kids and with my next sibling up having a serious illness at 16 it was easy to be ignored. So I think that really formed my personality, the part that struggles to be seen and heard..
I think the low self esteem and difficulty seeing the things I do well, stems from those early experiences in life. I don't really know what the core belief is here, probably something like I'm not smart enough, or pretty enough, or have anything to say?
Here are two tips that will help you better understand your assumptions and core beliefs:
Identify the events linked to the start of your sadness or depression:
Another important way to uncover your negative core beliefs is to think about what was going on in your life around the first time you were experienced a long period of sadness or depression. One thing you can look for is a match between what happened in that situation and what your specific assumptions and core beliefs are.
However, remember that no matter who you are, it’s important to look at both your needs in relationships and your needs for success & enjoyment in other parts of your life.
Examine your childhood experiences:
In general, the strongest core beliefs and assumptions develop earliest in life from interactions with parents and other caregivers. They also develop more from interactions with school peers and friends. Your history of adolescent and adult romantic relationships is also something you should consider because they could contribute to the development of some of your beliefs about yourself and others.
How do you think your past has affected your present?
