I went out side twice today and glad I did. I had been out first to work on flowerbeds and play with my horse. I haven't ridden in 4 years because of an injured shoulder and now I am afraid to ride this horse. So I just play with her on the ground. Later in the afternoon I decided to go out again. It was a beautiful late fall day. The sun felt so nice, took the horse for a walk to the mail box. Then played with her in the paddock. I think this plan of not expecting to much of the horse is doing us both some good.
I know a bit about feeling ashamed of ones body. I have always been self conscious. I can't figure out why I should feel that way. When I was younger I was always slim, yet I still felt like I was unworthy to wear a bathing suit. Now that I am 59, the years are catching up to me. I have put on that middle age spread tummy and hips. The only time I have had a bathing suit on in the past two years is to go to one of those Polar dips in New Years Day. The by-standers only get to see you for about 5 minutes. You quickly get out of your snowsuit, run across the ice to the hole that is surrounded by fire-fighters. Jump in the hole then get pulled out by a fire-fighter. Then the race back across the ice to your cloths. Come to think of it, that was a lot of fun. I should do it again sometime.
Go outside even if it is just to sit on the front step.
Stepping outside is great; but first, you've got to get yourself outside. There are times when all I want to do is self-isolate. There have been times when I lived a very active lifestyle but the last few years it's all I can do to get outside.
A great part of it is that I have become embarrassed by the person I have become. Gaining weight due to medication is the biggest factor preventing me from getting outside. I feel like everyone is watching me and being critical of my appearance.
I was once proud of the way I looked but now I don't even want to go out to do the things I have to like groceries.
