Hi - I don't have much time, because I need to start cooking dinner for my family, but I have been looking to find some support and am hoping I can get some here. I have lived with depression off and on for most of my life. Right now, I am having a terrible time getting myself out of bed - I want to pull the covers over my head and stay there, because I am sooo tired of feeling so awful and it is hard to have hope that I will ever find my way out of this hole. I am worrying about always calling my friends with my feelings of depression and hopelessness - I am tired of it; I can only imagine how they feel.
Anyway, I found this website somehow and thought I would give it a try. I do want to feel better ... I just don't know how much I have left in me to do it, so I'm hoping I can gain some strength just from knowing there are others out there who feel the same. And if I can support someone else out there, I will do my best.
Just a quick introduction - I got married a little over 8 years ago to a widower with two teenagers - I moved to another state (what a different culture!) because that's where he lived, got married, instant family, etc. It has been an incredibly difficult transition. A friend of mine grew up with my husband and that's how we met ... I actually met my stepdaughter before my husband - she and I read the scripture readings at our mutual friend's ordination ceremony. I believe God brought us together, but it has been a very difficult life for me ... it is hard to live in the shadow of a dead woman (my husband's first wife) and I mourn the fact that I was never able to have my own children - although I love my two stepchildren dearly.
I think that is more than enough for now ... I have to go cook dinner, but I hope to meet some of you sometime soon. Thanks for listening. Amy
