Sorry you are having such a rough time hun. Well, here we are again exchanging posts. This is where I have been since I stopped posting on the other forum. I must admit the depression is what gets me right now. It is what I am working on. As you know, I take meds (which I am happy to say are helping) so you and I are having different experiences right now. But as you know I am here for you and hope you will post often. Hang in there hun, it does get better.
It is normal that you are angry, waiting that long for treatment must be very frustrating. However, do not feel mad at yourself for feeling depressed and self conscious. Feel determined not angry. Use your emotions to make yourself stronger. You can and you will feel better.
You don't need to know what to do now you just need to get through the day. Everyday try to accomplish one goal. Today try to laugh or feel happy once. What do you think you can do today that may make you smile? Please try anything. Keep posting. If you need to post 100 times today then do so. We are all here for you.
Right now I am at my wits end, the anger, the feelings of being defective, zero self-esteem, anxiety, and throw in some pa's now and then. This 3rd round has been going on since March/09 and tonight the level of anger was unreal. I was mad at myself for feeling self-conscious, mad at feeling depressed, mad at not getting any therapy I have been waiting for over a month (this time). My mum just commented on how out of control my anger was & she was right, it actually scared me. I feel so hopeless and helpless, I don't know what to do anymore.
I was diagnosed with PD in Mar/07 and didn't get CBT until Aug/07, 2nd round of depression started in Dec/07, GAD reared it's ugly head on or about June/08 shortly after major surgery, then PA's began to re-surface.
I am not nor have I ever been on meds & would appreciate hearing from others in the same situation.
