When I am asked when I first experienced depression I used to say I don't really know. Having read the information here and examining my own life I have to say around grade 5 for sure. Early waking, weight gain, ignoring the simple things I need to do to take care of myself. It all started around then.
Right now I can feel myself slipping into a serious downturn. I cannot concentrate at work, I am distracted, prone to ranting and avoiding social situations. Worse still I am letting personal cleanliness go and shirking laundry as long as I can. This is a bad sign for me because I do value looking nice and smelling good. ;)
All I want to do right now is either watch t.v. or curl up in bed. I don't have the energy for much else.
I spoke with a life coach the other week. She was honest and helpful. Speaking with her made me admit that I am not doing as well as I claim. I appreciated her honesty and pointed questions. One was "If you don't have the energy to shower, do you think you have the energy to put into a coaching relationship?" I had to admit I didn't.
I have had positive experiences with CBT in the past, so I wanted to see if I could find online or self directed help. Right now the idea of having to get it together enough to make and keep appointments is overwhelming. I also tend to really resist things once they become too structured. I think the idea of popping in here when I need to and working along at my own speed is a program that I can live.
I normally like to knit, read, play WoW, walk and do other crafty things. I am looking forward to getting a bit of control on my depression and breaking out of some of my habits.
