I am also suffering from bipolar disorder. There are certain parts of the on-line program that provided me some relief. I learned to take little steps: I chose 3 things that I wanted to do every day, so it becomes a habit and I can have something positive done (getting up before 9 AM, taking a shower and shave). Now I make sure I leave the house for a walk every day (this was much harder than I expected).
Even though I currently have a working cocktail of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, I still try to keep these habits. When I fall back I will have a set of habits I can rely on and congratulate myself for it.
As Samantha mentioned, this is an online group where we are supporting each other. You already made the first major step by coming here and posting a message.
Thank you for sharing your story and introducing yourself to us. We are an online community that supports each other. I am really sorry to hear
that you have had a difficult couple of years, know that we are here for
you and this program has helped many people challenge and overcome their depression. Start working through the sessions of the program, take it one step at a time.
one of the bullet points early on in the program states (paraphrasing), "isolation and loneliness are major contributors to depression." i've never felt more cut-off from social interaction in my life. the odd post & reply online does not fill the gap left when your whole life crumbles. that's just the reality of things.
i owe money to virtually everyone & bankruptcy is not an option for me -- i've already declared it 5 years ago. my career skills have atrophied probably beyond remediation & the field i was in is not exactly one clamoring for middle-aged men. the program described here is one that puts a lot of focus on self-reliance & self-realization through achievement of goals & re-shaping perceptions. but as long as it's just some online forum & online tasks, it still comes down to self. and i'm not feeling all that capable or positive in and of my 'self'.
ultimately, i AM alone in this thing. right now, the gravity of that is beating the hell out of me.
But Speedy... you ARE here and posting which shows you do still have some hope. I know it is hard to recognize or even find when on the depressive slide downward. I can assure you that you are not alone as long as you keep coming here and letting us know how you are feeling... what you are thinking. We really do want to know and we sure do understand as most have been feeling the same way at one time or another. I know I have...
We are here for you... keep posting.
In what way does the program feel inadequate to your situation? What do you think would help you feel better?
lost my job more than 2 years ago & lost my independent lifestyle not long after. i'm living with my sister & her family now in a remote area. i've absolutely no social support here, my family is clueless as to how to cope with my obviously depressed mood & i feel like a complete failure at life. recently hospitalized & starting to feel the lure of suicide again.
my diagnosis is bipolar 2 with major depression and post-traumatic stress (anxiety). i'm feeling almost completely hopeless & alone -- just posting this message feels pointless. i can't help but feel that my life is over & my body just hasn't gotten the memo yet.
the information on this site seems useful but inadequate to my situation. i don't want to feel this way but even thinking i might become independent any time soon seems like a pipe dream. just ... hopeless, full of regret, & overcome with a sense of total failure. i can't even imagine change at this point.
