Hi, everyone -
I'm GabsBaxter. I'm a 40 year old professional woman - an educator. I'm married and have no kids, but I have a great immediate family that is loving and supportive.
I was diagnosed with depersonalization anxiety/clincical depression when I was 21 years old. I haven't had an episode in 6 years; I have been taking Paxil for 10 years and have had a huge amount of success on it.
So - I am now in the first major depressive episode I've had in years and year. I have sufficently scared the behjingles out of myself by letting panic take over.
I went to the ER on Tuesday to try to get my Paxil upped to 50 mg, but that didn't help. They didn't do it for me.
Anyway - I started therapy - again - trying 2 equally as awesome therapists - and I'll be participating in an outpatient group therapy program starting next week, 3 days a week for 2 weeks. I will get a chance to consult with a psychiatrist and get my medical needs evaluated, which is what I wanted to do by going to the ER.
This episode has been more depression related than anxiety related, which has definately been more disturbing for me, as I usually have periods of hopefulness that I will get better; this time, I don't. Also, as it has progressed, I have gotten increasingly anxious and had a couple of really severe panic attacks.
Although I've only been dealing with this for a little over a week, I want have resources to help me so that I can unlock some of the mysteries surrounding why I experience it, why I have it now, and why I had it in the past; what triggers it for me; how can I change my thinking; how can I eliminate triggers; how can I come to terms with the past/not worry for the future/live in the present.
