Hi Marianas,
Sorry to hear your depression has started to impact different facets of your life.
In saying that, you have come to the right place and hopefully we (health educators) and the wonderful members here can help out as well. You will find a lot of different information here in the support group, stories, and as you have already noticed, a welcome place to share experiences.
As well, you will see a very extensive program where you can work through different worksheets and get a lot of great information.
You were looking for something to focus on other than emotions and what ifs. I think a good place to start is with goals. When set effectively, goal setting can be very positive. Setting goals will help direct your focus, increase confidence, increase self esteem, increase sense of control, and act as a motivator as you work towards feeling more like yourself.
Section two of the program discusses goals and how to go about setting and meeting them. There is some homework involved as well so be sure to work on that. Hope that this can act as a good starting point and will provide you with that focus you are looking for.
Thanks for sharing with us, and keep checking in to let us know how things are going.
Matthew - Health Educator