I have always been shy too. Having serious conversations about most anything makes me emotional, even after being married for 12 years! One thing that I have a hard time with is making eye contact during conversations - i just start to cry when things get tough - so I find it helpful sometimes to talk while we are driving in the car. If one of us is focusing on the road then somehow it seems easier for me to say stuff. Start small, with something that won't ruffle many feathers for either one of you. If you keep practicing it will eventually get easier.
One thing that helped me when I was much younger - right when I graduated from college - was getting a simple
Job at a local coffee shop. (Not a big chain, somewhere small with no pressure.) interacting with customers helped me break out of my shell a little bit. I had a reason to talk to them ("you look like you could use a cappuccino and a bear claw!") and it helped me get over some of my shyness!
Hugs,
Super Girl
I am glad you started the program. How are you liking it so far?
You are asking a lot of great questions and I think the program can help you to answer most of them. I will address your one question, how to not get nervous when talking to your partner when you are upset. First of all, try not to avoid talking to your partner when you are upset. When we avoid the fear tends to increase. The more exposure you have to something you fear the better able you are to handle that fear. Also, practice relaxation exercises before and during your talks. Abdominal box breathing can help you to stay more calm - learn about this in the relaxation techniques section. Also, when talking to your partner focus on external cues (your partner) as opposed to internal cues (your internal nervousness). Try to focus on the points you want to get across and questions you may want to ask your partner. Writing out points you want to address prior to talking to your partner may help you to stay focused.
Does any other members have suggestions they would like to share?
Hi There,
I've had depression pretty much sense childhood. I was picked on a lot and because I am skinny and talk slow I didn't have a lot of friends. Last year I was diagnosed with Epilepsy and had to stop working for a few months. I don't have a lot of friends at work and I have a pretty good relationship. But I'm a really shy person, and I need to learn on how to speak to others about how I feel and how to communicate with my partner without getting upset (I'm emotional a lot) I have low self esteem, but I am hoping that this 16 week depression session will help me.
Any advise on how to not get nervous or anxious when I want to express my feelings or ask my partner for help and support? We've been together for 8 years and he takes care of all the finances.
Is there also any advise on how to get out and learn how to not be depressed and shy?
Thanks so much
