I think it's really important for me to continue to communicate honestly with him, but to also push myself a little even when I don't really want to do something. Tomorrow he wants to take me out to dinner. Honestly, I don't really want to go, but when he asked, I said, "Yes!". Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow night, but my connection to him is important, and I don't mind working to maintain that. If I have a really bad day and really can't get up, I know he would also understand.
One day at a time Miss Ashley :) That's how I'm planning on maintaining that connection.
I am so proud that you pushed yourself to go! You deservered this! What a great reward for all the hard work you have been doing.
You have gained so much from this trip! The connection you made with your boyfriend truely is something to highlight. WOW. What will this increased connection bring? How do you plan on maintaining it?
I learned how to drive a quad, there was no electricity at the cabin or running water. He built everything by his own hand. I was really amazed. It was so quiet. So peaceful. And we were able to really connect.
I've asked him to hang back while I worked on this depression stuff that I needed to work on. He's been impatient at times, and very patient at others. But he's waited and done his best to understand. He cried this weekend and told me that he's seeing me come back. He told me he was so worried. And so I worked on reassuring him that everything is going to be okay. I am coming back to myself with some rearrangements and refocusing. Lots of self care stuff. But also some us care stuff.
Session two goals are almost complete :) This one was important to me.
I could have posted in the relationship section, but really this was a bit of both of goal setting and relationship stuff.
Last check-in, I told everyone that I was going to go camping on Saturday with boyfriend. We've been dating for 8 months and he's been trying to get me to go to his ranch for many months.
So, depressed and all, I went cause I know this is part of session 2.
Um. Wow. I can't even express the experience. We were in the foothills of the Sierras. 157 acres of pure nature. In the background was the snow covered mountains. Where we were was the most beautiful grass covered hills with all of the early wildflowers blooming. Huge fields of purples and yellows. Lots of orange colors and wild herbs. We ran into a bobcat crying for a mate, and some wild boar.
I tried things I've never tried before.
Going to time out for a sec and don't want to lose the letter. So will continue in a minute.........
