hi gang,
I guess I wanted to ramble a bit about what is inside me and not really go through a formal indroduction... so this seems like a good place.
I am probably not the best christian there is. I take what I need and as an explanation of what I feel and am happy ... for the moment with my piecemeal spirituallity.
I see the creation and creator of exsistance as basically female with a male aspect. I feel her as my mother, the mother of all living aspects of existance. Quantum physics told me there is no "physical" difference between the molecules of this computer, of my body and of the sun that will rise tomorrow. So I need to fill the void between the inanimate objects, the unself aware living things and me. It is the energy that animates animals and vegetation that separates these from minerals and space. Then there is the explanation of this energy... it is life and in a closed system -our universe- there is no loss nor creation of energy; only transformations from one state to another. So our animating energy goes where? is transformed into what?
well as an adolecent with this impossible family.. the energy became part of the void of space... nothing. the body, molecules became worm food and all was lost. No point to life so no point in suffering anymore?
And a few million people had different ideas :8o:
so as a young adult with too much too do I found I was attracted to these notions - pagans, christians (catholic and portestants), muslims, jews, hindous, boudhists, taoists, etc... They all had some basic principals of creator. At the time I was most attracted to pagans and wiccans due to the female principals and the notion of family.
So now as a mother, I am attracted to system, to institutions that are tried and true. Catholocism does not have a perfect track record. I am willing to take the good and the bad to have some basic guidelines in my teaching...
I want to give this important tool to my children. This relationship with the universe where they can learn to be equal to any other living soul. I want to teach them that their worth as a basic human being does not depend on what miserable things someone says about them on oct 18 2007 at 9:15am est. They are intergral parts of a wole living system and although their part may be unclear they are important. as I am important -even if I am important to only 5 humans - I have purpose.
And on some days when I look into the abyss of nothingness that purpose is the [b]ONLY[/b]lifeline I have... It is solid!
