Lady - I am so glad that you posted. All of us are prepared for the fact that quitting will be difficult. We expect the first part of our quit to be hard but we don't always realize that we are learning to live our lives all over again as a non-smoker. I think many people lose their quits because they get blind-sided when they are not expecting it. You are going through a rough time and you are open, honest and using all your strength to deal with it. (and you are VERY strong) You have been a great source of support for so many of us newbies! You have looked after us....so please take good care of "Lady"...she's a very important part of this group! Sending warm wishes and hugs from Canada! Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 27 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 549 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $135 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 47

Lady, I always like it when you ramble. Your right God created you for a special reason. I don't know you, but you have been a big inspiration to me. And many of the people on here. Keep your faith. Giants are ment to make you stronger. With God's help you can overcome all things. You are a strong, beautiful woman. This too shall pass. Anyhow I am not the best with words. I wanted to give a little support and let you know the people on here care about you. We all are rooting for you. You shall be in my prayers. Grace

Good post Lady! The emotional part of quitting is much harder to deal with than the physical part. And so often, we don't realize what we're getting ourselves into when we quit smoking! But at the same time, I'm glad that I didn't know about the battle I was going to fight because if I had, I might not have fought it! But I'm glad that I did and I know that you are too. Learning to live life a new way can take time... I'm glad you are succeeding! Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 345 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,648 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1424.85 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 25 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25

:) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 233 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,847 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1864 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 38 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23

WOW Thank you Lady you moved me. Nalu [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 79 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $15 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14

Well, Lady, you are not alone. What you described is very similar to how I have been feeling. I hope it is just the last part of the journey, there is hope, and this too will pass. I have considered buying cigarettes but know I never will. Sheesh, I can't afford to smoke once they add on the new tax. Thanks for the rant as I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Think I'll shop for another nice reward today :) NOPE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 442 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,852 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2210 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 58 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

I haven�t rambled in a while and tonight I am going to. For the past few days I have been in a funk that has taken total control of me. I have been depressed and I have been fighting that depression with all my might, doing my best to refuse to give in to it. Prior to quitting I was not a depressed person nor was I an emotional person. I took whatever life threw at me and kept right on going. If someone told me I couldn�t do something, I would do it just to prove them wrong. I hid behind my smoke screen and I just kept right on burying all those feelings and emotions and I was tough! I could do anything I set my mind to come hell or high water. Well folks, I quit smoking and I haven�t been that person since. I am not weak, I am strong; however, I fight to remain in control. When I began this journey the giant was the Nicodemon. I fought the cravings five minutes at a time and counted down every single hour I had been quit. I stood tall against this giant, refusing to back down. I gained confidence and pushed forward, refusing to give up. I didn�t quit gracefully like so many around here say they have. I have fought a battle. I kicked, I screamed, I cried a river of tears but I did not smoke. As my quit has progressed, new battles have presented themselves. I have batted being tired, wanting to give up, loneliness, self pity, anxiety, depression and anger. The anger I have battled has been against myself for all the mistakes I have made in my past. Learning to deal with emotions has seemed almost impossible to me. I fight with this constantly. However, I do not smoke. I use to want a lot. I wanted to be smoke free, I wanted to be finished with school, I wanted to be loved, I wanted a better job, I wanted more time with my children, I wanted to be a better provider for my family, I wanted to quit hiding from friends the fact that I was smoking, and I wanted a better life. I quit smoking and I have gotten all that I have ever said I wanted. Then along comes another giant for me to battle. That giant is depression. I dig out the coping skills that quitting has taught me. I fight the battle that could cause self destruction. As I said, I�ve been fighting this giant all week. This afternoon, I decided I needed to get away,

Thanks Ladybugg, Casey and Windy. Janet, So much of this journey is about conquering our fears. The fear we began with first was the fear of quitting. Remember how hard that was? We wanted to quit but didn't think we could do it. I won't buy cigarettes either. I know they are the root of a lot of the difficulties that I have now. Going back to learning coping skills and doing whatever works to get through the moment. The skills I learned in quitting help me in so many other areas of life too. When I am in trouble, I reach out for help. When life is too hard, I distract with things that make me feel better. Over a year ago the only thing that made me feel better was smoking and the cigarette was the only friend I reached out to. Those old giants aren't so big anymore and I know that the new ones can be defeated with strength, determination, commitment and attitude. :) My God is bigger than any problem I will ever have to face and He won't ever give me more than I can handle. We learn a little more every day. And tomorrow will bring with it challenges of its own. Because of the fact that we "learned" how to quit smoking, we can face all that comes our way, good and bad. Thank you for understanding and not blowing this into a negative thing. It isn't negative at all to me. It is very positive. These emotions drive progress and for me it is all about growth. Have a great Sunday everyone. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 464 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 9,293 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1624 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 40 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56

I think it's time for Lady to get out her slingshot again! ;p Lady, you are a very strong person. and you've accomplished alot in your life, especially in the past year or so. You've done it by sheer determination and knowing when to ask for help. You've had alot of emotional stuff to deal with in and after this quit. Strength is knowing when you can't go it alone. [color=Purple]~bugg huggs~[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 570 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 31,925 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3990 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 55 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20