Well, I tried to deny it was here, but all week I've been sitting at my desk doing nothing. I've been avoiding work like it would hurt. I've been thinking negative thoughts constantly and not laughing or smiling as much as normal. I've been looking for things to worry about, waking up tired and spending all of my time planning how life will be better down the road instead of enjoying how nice life is right now. I've been in a slump, a low-grade depression. I want to break out of it.
I'm not sure how related this is to smoking...I'm not craving any more than normal. Whenever the thought of a cigarette comes up, I'm immediately thinking about how glad and proud I am that I quit, then steering my thoughts toward staying that way. I don't feel as thought my quit is in jeopardy, just because being a non-smoker is so great and being a smoker sucks so bad. I know I can't have just one, ever, and I won't, no matter what. I'm committed to my quit.
But I do need to snap out of this slump. It's gonna get me fired if I continue it much longer, sitting at my desk job-searching all day and ignoring duties. I need to set some short-term goals.
I have a vacation coming up, next week. I need to come back from it pumped back up, depression vanquished.
I need to:
Spend time on myself, lots of it. Read books, make my house spotless, rent movies, laze around with my kitten drink tea, go yard-selling, write for myself, lots of bubble baths.
Repair my happiness. Enjoy sunshine, cook good food, walk barefoot on green grass.
Think of projects at work I can get excited about. Put off the idea of changing jobs for a bit, and do a better job of this one. It would be a downer to make a career transition when I'm in such a slump on a job I've done well for years. I'd feel like I've failed at this one. No sense in that when I know I can be successful.
OK. Enough sitting on my butt feeling sorry for myself and then feeling guilty for sitting on my butt. Today will be a good, productive day.
Quitter
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/3/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 105
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,108
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $225.75
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
