I think there are probably more things going on than your quit, and the fear and discouragement are probably symptoms of depression, which can be battled through in non-drug ways, so make sure you look for the reasons that you're just generally sad and try to help yourself be happier. Go ahead an bawl, get it out of your system.
It's a great thing that you're addressing the way you're feeling now. You may feel like you could to give in because you don't trust that you're strong enough to get through something this hard. If you could find more strength within yourself, I think you'd have an easier time. I'm NOT saying that you're weak because you're craving. I'm saying that you need to locate your inner strength and trust it. You can affirm yourself, and ask for affirmation from the people who love you. Remind yourself of everything you've already accomplished. Flex your mental and emotional muscles and realize yes, you can cope, and yes, you've coped with toughter things and yes, human beings, you included, are capable of coping with harder things than you've ever experienced, if you're lucky.
YES, I think you should reward yourself more. Why not? You're not coddling yourself, you're staying quit. I don't think it would be a bad thing to take yourself back to the first stages of the quit, where there was something special about every day of not smoking, where you review "the list" of reasons to quit daily, where you feel proud and happy that you've done it and prepared for it to be difficult.
So, somehow, you need to take a little break from the misery and recharge. Hmmm...how to do that? A change of scenery, perhaps? Can you take a long weekend, maybe, from work, and go somewhere you've never been or you've only been as a non-smoker? Go to a non-smoking hotel, with big windows and a nice view. Do some hiking or something, read lots and lots of quit-smoking books, go to the movies, journal, call old friends from the motel room, maybe someone who doesn't know you've quit? And the whole time, just concentrate concentrate on being glad you're not smoking and committing to seeing yourself through this initial quitting stage. Yeah, I think that could help. a mini-retreat just with you, where you can reflect on not smoking the whole time and appreciate being a n
