Hi Steve: I have suffered from depression on and off many times in my 57 years. Some episodes have lasted for a year. I have tried several medications. My opinion (or prejudice) is that one should not start and stop anti-depressants. Starting, stopping & switching meds should be done upon advice of a doctor unless you have a severe negative reaction. I am currently taking Lexapro and I am not at all sure that it is helping. When you first sit down at work each day, is your goal to get all caught up? If so, you may be imposing a goal on yourself that you know (believe, feel, sense) is unrealistic or even impossible. Can you define a goal at work that is not overwhelming? How about a goal of accomplishing one-hour's work? If you could set an easily-accomplishable goal and then go ahead and try to accomplish it, you may find your energy increase at least a little. In other words, I am guessing that one of your problems is that you insist on creating too high expectations for your work day. If you define success as achieving an un-achievable goal, you are putting yourself in a no-win situation. (Please lighten up on Steve. He is not superman. If he is behind in his work, all he can do is to slowly work toward catching up. The further behind he is, the longer it will take him to catch up. Everyone who relies on Steve's work output will be happy to see the output resume - even at a trickle.) No rational person can expect you to catch up in a single day. Anyone who expects that is just going to be frustrated. Especially if that anyone is you. I have to leave now. Hang in there. Larry G

I think you hit on a key problem multitaskers have. When behind, it really causes stress. Organization is key. Rather than rely on your memory, a good *planner* agenda is a godsend. Rather than a standard one that only has slots for appointments, do you have one that allows you to track tasks as well as a timetable to carry them forward? I was just looking to order one for next year. To give you an example, if you look up Harvard Management Tools, you can see various models. Here's a picture of one that divides the page between tasks and appointments www.executive.org/planners/International_View.asp While I am not connected to this company at all, I have used their products and find them really good and well worth the $25 dollars or so. If you were to finish all your tasks on time would you feel better about yourself?

I'm overly critical of myself and can't seem to feel good about any of my accomplishments. My main problem is that I am a passive participant in my life - I just react to things happening to me. My job requires me to keep track of a lot of different activities but I'm withdrawn and can barely REMEMBER the things I'm supposed to keep track of, let alone tell you the status of those things. I'm considering disability simply to escape this stress for a period longer than Saturday. I try to rest on Sunday as well but I'm miserable all day about Monday. I can't take pleasure in accomplishments because I always feel like I'm catching up from behind - I always feel like everything is getting away from me. Anything I succeed at is delivered late. I need to find a way to keep organized and maybe I can manage work better, but my attempts thusfar have all failed. How do you guys keep organized and motivated? I'm in a position like many of you may be - my depression keeps me from being functional, yet this compounds the situation. How do I start to become functional when I can't seem to find a solution for my depression?

Why not discuss disability with your psychiatrist to see if that would help or hinder you? If you're inclined to withdraw, might it lead to isolation? Isolation is not a friend to the depressed person. Or were you thinking of a short break to get some reprieve from the stress of work? But you were talking about your thought patterns. Can you give an example of one the group could help you with?

I've found that rewards don't really work because I'm completely spent. I don't have the energy for willpower, which isn't really a problem anymore because I don't have the energy to be interested in anything either. My dreams are so far gone I don't remember what they were. Right now my "dream" is to find a job with no responsibilities where I punch out at 5pm and forget about it, but that's my negativity talking. I came to the realization about being trapped in a lifestyle some time ago and I have been simplifying and getting rid of stuff I don't need or want. I need to find a job that gives me some fulfillment, but that possibly requires the commitment of another degree first so I'm not ready to entertain that notion just now. After writing that note yesterday I stared at my walls for a while and snuck out at 3pm to hide in bed. I'm considering taking disability, but I'm haunted by what it might mean for my job (unhealthy competitive environment). I need to find a new job, but I can't afford to lose this one until I heal myself first - a new job in this condition will be a welcome change for a few weeks and then I'll crash into this mess again. My "therapy" to this point has just been to ramble in weekly sessions with my psychiatrist, but I don't feel it is going anywhere. I have a lot of self-esteem and anxiety issues that need to be worked through. The medication may improve my baseline morning mood but I don't feel my patterns changing at all, and that is what I desperately need.

Hi. It sounds like you are under a great deal of stress. Do you ever reward yourself when you do something, or accomplish something? (Like holding a carrot out at the end of a stick?) If you're feeling pressure from needs, and critisicm from yourself and others, then wouldn't it be great if at least *you* were on your own side? And what of your dreams? Have you moved away from them? Do you remember what they were? What would you have to do to bring them closer to reality? I don't know if this applies to you, but to most people it does: We tend to increase our lifestyle as our income rises. With that increase we sometimes move away from our dreams, distracted by the trappings of a different lifestyle. When tough times hit and we have to simplify, we don't know where to start. It's only my opinion, but I think we all should revisit what we're doing and examine if it makes us happy, if it's what we really want to be doing. For instance, would you be happier in a lower-paying job that would satisfy you more? A job you wouldn't dread going to? It would mean having to simplify life a little in accordance with the lower pay, but it might bring you more happiness and less stress. I know it's do-able. Just a thought. As for self-criticism, you have the right to question messages in your past that told you you were not ok, the ones that make you become self-critical. Maybe a bully, maybe a relative, older sibling, preacher, or schoolmates for example, told you something you came to believe about yourself? That's where discussion with your therapist can help. It's ok to *encourage* yourself to pick up your heels.

Hi folks I've been down much of my life, generally as a result of self-destructive behaviours (ie. I choose the wrong thing when I know better). I hide my head in the sand until my life situation comes to a boil and I'm forced to deal with it. I am trying to teach myself that these behaviours are a symptom, but no luck so far. I just kick myself and tell myself that this situation is my own fault. Right now the problem situation is work, where I have been unable to motivate myself to do anything. Of course this causes me no end of anxiety as I am waiting for the axe to fall at all times, and I get consumed with stress and dread over my outstanding tasks and my impending weekly report. I just can't face this **** anymore and I'm really running out of gas. I've always been stressed and people say I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders, but these days it is much worse. I'm having crying jags hiding in my cube at work and I'm really close to losing my **** for real. It is killing my wife to see me like this, but our financial position won't allow me any time off. She keeps telling me that if not performing at work is getting me down then to start performing. She just doesn't get it. I'm completely swamped in misery and I'm unable to face my life. I just had a review that gave me a couple of months to show an improvement or I'll be in real trouble, and now everything is much much worse. I'm seeing a psychiatrist, but it doesn't help much. It feels very aimless - I just talk about what's bothering me. He's got me on Prozac which is ok for the first week or two (I feel caffienated) but then it slacks off and I quit it after a couple of months when I don't feel it has any effect (rinse, repeat). I've tried Remeron and Effexor as well with similar results. I need to find some effective therapy to change my thought patterns and get me out of this rut before this eats me alive. I've been in this cycle for 30 years now, but I feel that I can't take much more. How do you motivate yourselves? How do you face those things in everyday life that you dread? How do I silence that critical consience that haunts me? I keep hoping "if I get something done today I'll feel better" but it never works. I've been telling myself that good tim