Depression Center,
Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder, Dysthymic
Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder are
what I am being treated for.
I'm 39-years-old, unemployed, looking for a job,
but the little work I've done lately is low status
clerical temp work. During the past year I have felt
like a failure because I failed the California bar
exam twice and had to take it a third time.
I still feel like a loser with low self confidence
and low self esteem. I am very self critical and it's
hard for me to feel any genuine hope, happiness,
and optimism about my life. My bar exam results
are due November 21 and I expect I'll fail again and
fear that I will go into a severe depression with
suicidal ideation like I have before.
I have a long term pattern of being regected.
This rejection includes my ex-wife and her affairs,
being fired from a teaching job, expelled from law
school, and not hired for jobs I wanted, and
dumped by women I dated. Consequently, I have
felt deeply depressed, hurt, angry, frustrated,
humiliated, unwanted, and unloved.
I'm feeling rotten this morning, so I thought it
might help if I wrote to the Depression Center
Support Group. My energy level and mood are both
really low and I find it hard to get motifvated to do
anything.
What can I do to shut off my negative thoughts
that just keep dragging me down? If any of you can
relate to this at all please write. Thanks.
Craig
