Yelena, Your sister is right you do need to talk to someone with regards to your feelings. This site is to support individuals with depression. However you are at the point where you're thinking about killing yourself and you need to get help now! Call 911 and talk about how you are feeling. Go to the emergency room of any hospital and call your family doctor and tell her or him what is happening. Ask your sister or your friends to take you to the hospital or ask them to call your doctor. If you live in the USA, dial diretory assistance and ask for a 1-800 suicide hotline or local crisis center hotline. You also can visit http://www.hopeline.com to get contact information for a suicide hotline in your area. In Canada please visit http://suicidehotlines.com/canada.html Please get help now!

Hello. And I am new to this simply because I never thought I had a depression. I've been feeling down about my whole life ever since I was about ten years old. But there was also something to look forward to. School. Now I'm in college, getting ready to graduate, but all of the sudden I just feel this horrible fear of tommorow. I don't know why. And I don't want to graduate because I see no point in going on. What will I do after getting my degree? Nothing has made my life better - how will this make it any different? I have never been to a doctor simply because my parents don't believe in depression. I tried killing myself the first time at age 8. Than again at age 15. I was a self- harmer since age 17. I want to finish school and get my diploma and move on. But I can't concentrate in class simply because I have no interest in striving for good grades anymore. What's the point? I live with my family and my father was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. And I have no idea what to do now. I have a best friend and a boyfriend who are kind enough to hold my hand when I cry and calm me down when I'm upset. But how long will that last? I don't know where to go for help, even if I wanted it. And when I DO know where to go, I usually simply can't afford it. My sister made me take a depression test because she thinks I am depressed. The test told me that I have symptoms of a depression. But....going to a doctor is out of my paying range, especially given the situation with my father's sickness. I am 24 years old. I lived on my own long ago, but I had to move back in to help support my parents when my mother lost her job and couldn't work any longer. And now, I feel like simply finding the darkest, deepest hole and crawling into it. My sister asked me to join this forum, because she says talking about things with other people helps. I keep on thinking about suicide or maybe a lucky "accident". Is there really any hope for someone like me? I really don't think so. But at this point...I'm just doing this because someone asked me to. I read someplace that there's no "useless" life. But that's what mine has been ever since I was born. Useless. Defected. Abnormal. Does medication really fix that?