I lack forward momentum, I feel that I have had a case of mild, but considerate depression since my teens. I am now almost 22. I still live with my parents, and I dropped out of high school for a GED when I was 18. I strongly dislike school. However, I self educate myself often. I feel like I am capable of great things, but I can't tap into it.
I had started a small business that was lucrative at the start, but is now failing, which means, I need to get a job. I can't find the motivation to look hard enough. I don't like to work for other people. So I am considering Realty School because I love the 'art of the deal'
But I can't seem to get motivated. I am so down, that I can't even write music anymore. I forgot to mention that I was in a successful rock band, but whole heartedly hated the road and touring so I left the record deal.
I don't know what to do. I have a passion for money, and business, but I despise school. I feel that I have been a touch anti-social for a number years. I avoid many, many situations for the sake of not wanting to feel uncomfortable. I'm sad.
But I have an amazing girlfriend for whom I've been with for three years now. I got her into graphic design, and she went to school for it, and now has an associates degree, and is becomming more and more successful every day. This depresses me even firther, because it used to be MY passion. We will get married someday, but not until I have a steady income.
I dunno what to do. I'd go to a doctor, but I can't afford the bill, and I haven't any insurance. I don't say any of this to anyone.
Are there any over the counter anti depressants that are worth a ****?
Can anyone relate here? How do I defeat it? How can I become the success that I have inside, but can't tap?
