Hi Folks, I'm new, and was reading this thread because of the title. I don't feel like typing an intro right now but I will do so later. My reason for posting is to give CJ a link to an online Paralegal program. I know about this link because the course is offered through the University where I work. I signed up last year and bought the books but I had to cancel the course when my home got flooded 3 times in July and August last year. Then at the end of August,my Dad was diagnoised w/terminal lung cancer. Of course I moved him in with me. I felt there would be too much stress for me to be able to concentrate on studies. I believe it is reputable school and you can do the entire course online. I do not know the cost of the course because the tuition was paid for by the university, but the books cost me around $280.00. It may be something you would like to look into CJ. I am on disability right now and I am considering signing up for the course again. Hope this helps http://www.legalstudies.com/

Hi Carol! Thanks for writing. Unfortuinately, I was laid off last Friday. I saw it coming since my boss had warned me the previous week that although my accuracy was above average, my productivity was at the bottom of the team. I tried not to beat myself up over this by reminding myself that I work at a slow rate due to my depression and my sedating antidepressive medication that slows me down mentally and physically. Still, it hurt my feelings when a supervisor looked me in the eyes and told me that "we're gonna have to let you go." I have a couple of new temp jobs lined up including being a proctor at my law school's final exams and a document coding job that should last three to six months. I set up a job interview for this Thursday for the long term temp job which I think I have a good chance at getting. Meanwhile, I am continuing to look for permanent legal work as a paralelgal or legal assistant. The problem is that almost all of these employers want to hire someone who has years of experience as a paralegal but I have only about a year of experience. Hey, you gotta start somewhere! Most of the jobs I apply for online are in the LA area. I was born in Los Angeles, I lived there until I was four and I am serious about relocating somewhere in the LA area if I can get a steady job there. Good luck to you! Craig

Craig: Thanks for the sites. I have been checking those. Yes, I live in Mission Viejo, which is about 20 due West of Laguna Beach. I have been checking the Orange County Register and of course Orange County government site as well. Additionally, I have been checking with healthcare companies, as healthcare will continue to be hiring and growing in the future. My undergrad is in Criminal Justice and I intended to practice criminal law as a past victim of violent crime. However, the County has a hiring freeze and I can't see myself in criminal defense. Although IMO many poor are targeted and need a good advocate I am concerned that too many ethical issues would be involved. So, the healthcare industry would give me more experience with medical terminology and insurance issues which would give me experience I could use in Med/Mal, Product Liability or Personal Injury work. I applied for a part-time legal assistant position with a company that does med/mal. They also have a filing position open and the receptionist told me they have a 'bizilion' J.D.s applying for even a filing position. I think the CA economy is in trouble, but it is supposed to pick up by Fall. I hope you didn't get laid off. There is a reason for everything, and when I find out what it is I will let you know, lol ;). Stay in Touch, Carol

Hi I can understand your state of mind.Do visit http://www.topica.com/lists/venturemall which teaches art of living.I am sure this will help you get out of the mess.

Hi, Carol! Thanks for writing. I just found out today that the first round of layoffs for my job will start this Friday so I may be out of work in a few days. I got this job through a local employment agency that I interviewed with. Fortunately, I have two temp jobs lined up: as an exam proctor at my law school and as a document coder. I am determined to use my law school education and work experience to find work as a Legal Assistant and/or Paralegal. I hope to see my income increase over time. I know that I won't make as much money as a lawyer, but I think I can make a living and pay off my student loan debt eventually. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, where the job market really sucks and the cost of living is high. I have been looking for legal work online in the Bay Area, LA, and other cities inside and outside of California. Do you live in Southern California? How is the job market there? I have heard cynical people say that one has to lie and be mean and tough in order to succeed as a lawyer or a businessperson but I say that is a load of ****! Just because other people are lying, arrogant *******s does not mean that everyone has to be that way. I still think one can be a person of honesty, compassion, sensitivity, and integrity and still be a success in law, business, and other professions. I look for jobs online at my list---craigslist.com, careerbuilder.com, monster.com, and hotjobs.com so I suggest you try those websites for a start. Good luck and take care! Craig :)

Craig: I get my results May 21st at 6PM on the internet. Like you, I have staggering student loans and went through my pension the last 1 1/2 yrs. of law school after my husband filed for divorce. I too have been told I am too honest and too nice to be a lawyer, but don't you think that compassionate and honest lawyers are needed? I am joining a professional business small group from my church to ask the lawyers in the group if they feel they have been able to practice law without compromising their ethics and Christian beliefs. I too have lost so much confidence in myself throughout law school as I did not make the Dean's list, and the failures on the bar have been devastating even though I know that I am not dumb. I have been involved in modeling, movies, and publice speaking always with a great deal of confidence in my ability. The last interview I had when they asked me, "Why should we hire you?", I had trouble coming up with an answer. It was really strange for me as I love learning, love challenges, and want to make a difference. Yet, when asked I couldn't come up with what I could bring to the table, except that I told them I would work overtime and being willing to start at the bottom and work my way up. How lame is that!? I was so happy to go through law school and not depend on my appearance for work, and to use my brain and receive respect. Now that I am attempting to get work on my intelligence, I am OUT OF WORK, lol! The joke is on me :(. The main problem is that if you don't get job as a lawyer you can't afford to pay back your student loans. Other jobs I have pursued pay so little that there is no chance of making payments. The self esteem takes big 'hits' when you are afraid to answer your phone for fear it is a bill collector. I have always had great credit and been an upstanding citizen and now I feel like a 'deadbeat'. The other thing that is distressing is that in this economy and job market I am being asked how many times I have taken the bar. Fortunately, I was on an Honors board and was on the competition team three times. Also, I was a Certified Law Clerk for the DA's Office and did motions in court, so I do have experience. But, you must get in front of someone to sell yourself and that is 'slim pickins' these day

C, Thank you for your message. I also exercise every week. I just got home after working all day and working out at my fitness center. Years ago, as a result of my marital problems (my wife had an affair with a woman and threatened to do it again), I flunked out of law school. Meanwhile, my marriage was falling apart. My ex-wife and I separated when I moved out in August 1999. My petition to continue law school was granted. While on academic probation, I took care of all the divorce paperwork and made the Dean's list! I also graduated from law school in May 2002. Since then I have gone through the agonizing ordeal of studying for the California Bar Exam, taking the bar exam, waiting for the exam results while being unemployed, and finding out I failed the bar three times. I didn't come close to passing each time. Every time I failed my self esteem and self confidence were smashed to bits and I felt severely depressed. And the emotional pain and loneliness that I have felt since my divorce has never gone away either. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to take a bar exam again. I have to work full time now to pay my living expenses and my gigantic student loan debt. If I had known before I went to law school that I had Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and a Personality DIsorder, I would not have chosen such a high stress, extremely competitive career as being a lawyer. I really don't think I am cut out to be a lawyer. An ex-lover told me that I am too nice to be a lawyer. Maybe she's right. I hope you pass the bar. In case you do not pass, I suggest you come up with a clear, detailed plan for what you are going to do if you find out you failed the bar. I wish you the best of luck. Craig

Craig: I can so relate to your message. I am waiting for results from my third try at the California bar exam. March 17th is special to me as well-My first date with my ex-husband [ran off with someone during my second year of law school]. Plus, I lost my Mom last March 15th.:( Other than prayer [which has saved my life on more than one ocassion], one thing that comforts me is that just getting into law school is something many people cannot acheive. We have been blessed by God with an abilty to think in a logical manner and it is nothing we brought to the table. But, in law school we are surrounded by others with similar talents which causes us to judge ourselves in an artificial setting. While I didn't flunk out, picking yourself up and finishing law school is a TREMENDOUS accomplishment. I kept thinking that if I flunked out I would kill myself [We actually had one girl who did commit suicide 1st year]. Especially since my ex-husband is a judge and I knew he would find out and would be so happy that I had failed. That was 3 years ago. I graduated in May 2002 and I have missed several job opportunities because my Mom was on Hospice and I wanted to take care of her in her last days, and pamper her. While I do not regret this time with her [and would do it over again], I have been unable to find a job in the last year [since she passed away]. None of the recruiters will touch me because they say that as long as you are awaiting bar results no one wants to hire you. I have even applied for jobs at 10/hr, filing in a law office with no results. All the paralegal jobs want experience AND a paralegal certificate. I even considered going to UC Irvine and taking a paralegal course to get work, but that is 9 mos full-time and more school loans. It is very depressing to have dedicated myself to finishing college and then law school and all the losses during that time and now no job. I have found that other than prayer and meds the key for me to stay positive is to get exercise. I walk three miles several times a week with a former law school friend who lives near me. IT HAS SAVED MY LIFE. Not only does the exercise increase endorphine activity, but getting out of the house and doing something for me really helps. God Bless, C

Iraj, Thanks for the email. Just for the record everybody: my name is "Craig" not "Griag." I agree that a focus on the NOW is beneficial. Buddhism and Cognitive Behavioral psychotherapy both encourage people to think about the present rather than the past or the future. Prayer has helped me before and I will try to pray more often. In my darkest moments I have turned to God to help me and that has truly saved my life many times. "Well, I lost my money and I lost my wife, But them things don't matter much to me now. . ." "Darkness At The Edge Of Town" Bruce Springsteen Craig

Hi Graic, I am glad to hear that you are doing well. Life is full with surprises. Every day and even every second is full surprise. I lost my wife, my job, I went in bankruptcy, and there was more. All happened in one year. Do I regret them? NO. I do not regret anything, because it was part of all. I did my best at that time. I tried my best with what was available to me. TODAY, it is different. I am different. Today is what I have. Yesterday is a dream. Tomorrow is just a vision. But TODAY and NOW is what belongs to me. And I am not giving it to any thing, especially to some feelings that are only results of my thoughts. There is a book called the power of now. I have heard good reviews about this book. Honestly, I haven't read it. But I am going to read it soon. I am not sure if I should give you any suggestions. Please talk about them with your consular. Don't regret your past. It's part of you but it should not dictate your NOW. Let the past go away. Talk about them to people you trust. Write them down and face them. Pray, this one is my favorites. I love it: God grant me serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference. Take care of yourself, of your body, soul, and mind. Don’t spend any cent on any thing that damages you. Don’t smoke and drink. Eat healthy; it is important to do it consciously. Keep yourself busy. Never get angry. Something happens and you feel angry, first think regarding the consequences of being angry. Do you solve any problem with getting angry? NO. And pray and pray and pray. Take the bible or buy a spiritual book, what ever you feel is good. And don’t forget, he is watching us, and things will happen only if we take action. Einstein said once, nothing changes, until something moves. How could we create different results with the same behavior? Enjoy your life and take action because the changes are coming. Iraj