I hope I didn't sound angry in that last post. I just wanted to make a point. I tried Seroquel(antipsychotic) once with Effexor and Divalproes. It was supposed to boost the other meds and help me sleep. Athough it does knock you out almost instantly, I eventually became able to fight and stay awake (I've never had problems gettig to sleep my sleep problem is oversleeping and the resulting loss in a circadian rhythm). If I was to be taking Seroquel every night at say 11pm to knock me out, and I woke up at 6pm that day because I just slept 19 hours, I would definately not want to go back to sleep and would fight to stay conscious. I never got any augmentation in antidepressant, moodstabilizer effectiveness either. I did get migranes every three weeks and a shaking jaw. I wouldn't worry about taking a small amount of Risperdal. It could help. Just watch for tarditive dyskenesia (shaking) and stop the med if u get shakiing body parts (rare but someties permanent side effect). The new antipscyhotics are very safe though, otherwise they wouldn't be giving them out to nonpsychotics. i dont think Risperdal has the sedative effect like Seroquel. I have a reactive affect (a characteristic of atypical depression). This is a term I have heard used and I'm not sure if it is usefull at all but I use it to look more educated. "The definition of atypical depression (AD) has recently seen a rebirth of studies, as the evidence supporting the current DSM-IV atypical features criteria is weak. Study aim was to compare a definition of AD requiring only oversleeping and overeating (reversed vegetative symptoms) to the DSM-IV AD definition (always requiring mood reactivity, plus overeating/weight gain, oversleeping, leaden paralysis, and interpersonal sensitivity [at least 2])" There is some stuff off some webpage =P to give yu an idea of what I'm talking about. Anyway , because of my response to positive events (and vice versa) I feel it exercise is unquestionably important for me. Still I don't get much exercise since I need someone to organize something for me or bring me along to play some sports. I am going to take a good look at alternative therapy like accpuncture, fish oils etc. blah blah I'm rambling . l8r psysick

Your glorification of Canada seems pretty common place. Certainly it is a huge benefit to have doctors visits paid for by Provincial Health Plans. However, the level of care I have recieved for my depression and anxiety problems is far from wonderful. There is no exercise programs, cognitive behavioural therapy, career counselling. I saw a psychatrist in the small town in Ontario when I was living with my parents after dropping out of University. They hooked me up with monthy appointments with a social worker but that was basically useless because all they could say was, you should get out more. It was temporarily helpful for my anxiety to have a person to talk to. I also went to a few sessions of a dealing with depression talk given by a guy at the local hospital. It wasn't bad, didn't help me much though, I can't remember if I went to all of them. I eventually decided to move to the largest city in Canada (Toronto) to get a brake from living with my parents. I was excited about getting an appointment at the CAMH (center for addiction and mental health). A highly acclaimed public institution that does research and treatment. But after being hassled around about how to get into the mooddisrder clinic and them not having my name in their system months later when I came to check why they hadn't phoned me yet, I was left without help. apparently some stupid secratary didn't enter my info when I gave it to her in their office. Also my psychatrist from the small town who they supposedly faxed some form to, that was to be filled out and faxed back,never got thte fax or got it and never faxed it back. That faxing business was supposed to take 2 months. And then you would be put on a three month waiting list to have a consultation. During a visit to the ER I was told they would expidite me along, but it turns out i wasn't in their stupid system anyway so nothing came of that. whenever I made a trip in desparation to the ER when dangerously suicidal I was cheered up by the appearance that I would get help. But in each case I was refered to some doctor who wouldn't accept me becase I didn't live in that city or a doctor who was on holliday and who phoned back later to say their clinic wasn't appropriate for me anyway. The two psychatrist I have seen (the seco

Jeff, I liked the way you say: "motivationally impaired". Actually, aren't we all, the whole human race?? It is not another flaw!!!! Stop beating yourself up. You are whole and so is everybody else. Let me tell you something funny about how lazy a person can get. I have a friend who lives down the street from me. Really, if I walk real slow, I make it within 5 minutes. However.....what do you think I did when I wanted to visit her.....yep....I took the car. Can you believe it...I really did!! I know, I know, I should be ashamed of myself, but I grant myself the permission to not be ashamed. I made the choice to use the car, maybe tomorrow I will make another choice. Motivation comes from doing it and to feel the difference in state of mind. Soon, you can not go without, like me, which than entitles me to take the car to go to a friend. :). Give and take....I would say.

Thank you, too. I've gotten a lift from you as well, gr8fl, from your reply and your supportive posts, and after reading what you said about "mandatory exercise" (nicely coined, SweetBlues), I knew I absolutely had to go. I went jogging last night and I can tell you that I felt better, during and afterwards. I even laughed some real laughs. I've been doing it for nearly two weeks and it's already getting easier. I know that I have to keep doing this ritually. So please go, you two-- tonight. My life is becoming full of rituals for the sake of this depression, something I've never really done before. Things like jogging, snacking on carbs and some simple yoga every morning seem to be the things that are keeping me from a total breakdown. It is true what you say, SweetBlues, that there is a conspicuous absence of organizations, like gyms, out there, with cheerleaders for the motivationally impaired. I think it might be partly because 1.) there's no money in it, and 2.) the stigma attached to depression, and all mental illness. Mental illness is the most overlooked problem, I think. Swept under the carpet. We were the original rugged individualists: grass-roots bootstrap self-helpers and self-motivated capitalists. We are probably the most far removed from public health care and other socialistic concerns of any developed country. So any "cheerleading for exercise" must come from the grass roots, i.e. you and you and me. It's up to us. Let's do that for each other. Now, GO tonight. If you prefer to go with someone, and no one wants to, find someone smaller than you that you can coerce into going (I make my daughter go with me, and eventually she appreciates it.)

I'm really greatful for a place like this to chat. I appreciate all your responses. After all the research, scientific and experiential, that corroborates the value of exercise in lifting depression, you'd think there would be some medical facility that would offer group exercise or personal trainers for sufferers of depression. It would be so helpful to have a cheerleader to keep us going during "those times" when we need it most. God bless us everyone

Jeff S Thanks for the kind words. Saying I was one of the main reasons you joined this post (on June 12th, which happens to be my birthday)made my day. Thank you! I can't promise you I'm going back to the gym tonight (it's too late) But I do promise to go! Hang in there Buddy - we'll all get through this together! May God bless and watch over you and all of us!

My heart goes out for you two. I too am stuck in an ugly place, failing at my life and constantly tense about it, and I wish I could bring all of us out of it. We don't deserve to be in it and daily I have to try to block thoughts like, "it's my own fault", and be good to myself long enough to make some progress. I'm sorry to hear your month-long state, gr8fl, I did not know. You've been strong and supportive in your posts, and you were one of the main reasons I joined this group on June 12th (see my reply to Understanding Major Depressive Disorder / "Need a little inspiration"). We don't deserve to be in this, my friends. We aren't trying to hurt anyone. Myself, I just want to function. Instead I'm predominently worrying and agonizing and trying to lose myself in 7 channels of broadcast TV. Which is slim pickings! One thing that you both concurred on got my attention: THE HELP THAT EXERCISE BRINGS. I started a hill-walking program last week which was immediate relief, then a couple things sort-of preempted a couple nights in a row, and now I am fearful I won't restart. But you both know the benefits of it, and so must I realize it and so must we all restart that glorious and cathartic ritual of aerobic gasping and straining. The memory of last week's exercise is still fresh in my my mind to know that it felt far better than staying in my home and agonizing over my current state. I want you two to go on the night you read this. No matter what. Promise me as I promise you that I will go tonight. Everything depends on us individually, and maybe together. I wish you lived nearby so I could come wait for you on your doorsteps in a decent pair of shoes. Go, I command you.

SweetBlues, I feel for you. I am about your age and have been suffering with depression just as long as yourself. I commend for your efforts to get yourself better. I myself have just been switched from effexor to wellbutrin and I'm not doing well on it at all. I had exercised regularlry (aerobics and strength training) and lost 100 lbs. However, I haven't been to the gym in a month due to my current depressive state of mind. So, I know what you mean when you talk about motivation. It scares me how quickly things can change. It's kind of ironic that someone who got up early everyday to work out to feel good and look good wishes he could cease to be and donate his organs to save as many people as possible. I wish I had more to offer you but in addition to exercise I do feel better on occasion when reading, writing, meditating and listening to certain meditative music. I will be happy to elaborate more if you care for me to. But for now, take care of yourself, don't give up trying and always remember the true blessings in your life. It appears that you have many to be thankful for. Please let me know how you are doing and if you come across any helpful treatments out there. Be Well.

I am new to this message board. I've been "roaming the net" for information about breakthrough treatments, natural alternatives etc. for some time now. I've been battling depression since I was 13 years old, and was first put on anti depressants at age 16. I'm now 44. I've pretty much run the gamut - Desipramine, Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin,Buspar, Celexa, Lexapro, and various combinations of the above. The best results I've had was a combination of 60 mg Prozac and a great therapist; which kept me feeling pretty good for almost 6 years, and even won professional awards during this time. I also had significant improvement when I was involved in a "mandatory" exercise program while working for the forestry department. When the Prozac "pooped out" in 1996 shrinks started putting me on combinations; none of which have really done the job. I was also in a study for rTMS - external magnetic stimulation to specific areas of the brain; which worked great!! I was able to reduce my meds for the first time in years, and continue improving. But when the study was over, I was left flat. There are only 2 doctors in the US who use this treatment off label, and it's not yet approved. Now I'm not doing that well, and my husband freaks out with fear whenever I get very depressed; even though I've never been suicidal or self harming since I've known him. In Australia, the UK, Scotland, and Canada rTMS has been approved for several years. These governments also have programs for individuals with depression that include exercise programs, career counseling, and occupational/creative therapy. My husband has sarcastically suggested I move to Canada, but that's not really an option. Currently, he and my doctor are trying to push me into adding an anti-psychotic into my medication, even though they both admit I have no psychosis. They want me to add a small amount of Respiradol as a catalyst to Prozac. I have read the profiles, and I am scared to add this medication. My doctor assures me this is fairlyt common in refractory depression. I wish I could force myself to do aerobic exercise daily, but my motivation is so low because of the extent of my depression, and I've been unable to be consistent. rTMS is about 2 years away from FDA approval. I don't know how to