Hi,
I'm pretty excited to join this community. Recently I have hit a new low
in my life and I just don't know what to do about it all. I've never been
a happy person, as long as I can remember anyway. Well maybe before
kindergarten, when I was very young. I recently graduated from
college and am trying to find work. I've not been very successful, and
its left me with a lot of time to think about stuff. And since I don't have
any friends here (or many anywhere for that matter), its been awful.
Right now I feel like I will never have work, never find friends, and I'll
just deteriorate away I'm until I'm not a person anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me necessarily. I know I'm depressed.
I've never been to a doctor about it, and I can't imagine going. How do
people like me every get to a doctor? How do you make a phone call, or
walk into an office? I don't know how people ever find help, and I don't
know how I will.
I've lived in a few places while in college, and even went on foreign
exchange, but I've never made a place for myself anywhere I've been. I
was in one place four years and just recently left, but I can't go back
and stay with friends. I don't even have good friends there, its pathetic.
Just acquaintances. Now I'm back at home, and I don't know anyone
here anymore, and the chances of me meeting people are very slim. I
don't even know how to make friends anymore. I can't believe I ever
did. I'm so cautious of everything I do and say in front of people, that I
never ever loosen up or become a real person in front of them. So I just
don't see any future for me. I don't have much hope.
Thanks to anybody who read this. I do hope I can be a better person
someday. Hope this wasn't too long.
