After that i felt really "normal". Things were looking up, but i tried to come offmy tablets then and things soon went downhill again..... My OCD returened, also it was during this time i began to use the internet to talk to people, i met a guy who emailed for a while, this helped me as at least i had guy who was intersted in me, even if we never met. We began texting each other, and it was nice having someone asking how my day went and that even tho we hadnt met. I couldnt take it and went back in the seroxat and things improved i was really looking after my self and felt good, tho i wasnt constantly thinking about the way i looked and that which was good. Eventually me and this guy agreed to meet up, i thought it went well but slowly he began to text me less. He made excuses not to meet up and eventually we lost touch. So here i was back to square one, I had thrown up before, but slowly i became full blown bullimic, i was convinced he thought i was so ugly, so repulsive that he wouldnt see me again. After that slowly i pulled myself togher again, i went back to pick up where i left off in school and start again. I made a great friend, we had so much in common. And i felt good again. Then a new guy started there, he was gorgeous. We became friends and i was convinced he liked me, but then i find out he dosent and this knocked me for six again. But at least afterwards he treated me very well and told me not to be embaressed about telling him, and i felt better, but i still started beating myself up about the fact id gotten the the signs wrong and started throwing up again because i thought it was because i was fat and ugly that he didnt like me.
Ok ill stop here, i really wanna tell u all my story but ill finish tommorro(it gets better!)
I hope youll listen ,
Thanks
Lostgirl
