I think i will just start where i left off yeterday. I said that things would get better, and they have. Ive learned(tho its just the start of this to have the motto, that if people dont like me its their problem) I did throw up yesterday but saying that ive started to feel better in other ways, i feel that i have to start on the inside rather thab the outside to feel good. Im seeing a counsellor and even though i feel shes not that good its helping me to talk things through and explain my feelings. She told me today to for a while not even think sbout improving my outer appearence and concentrate on the inside and just be myself and be friendly to others and nice and be myself and then i will know im not doing anything wrong and they have the problems. Im gonna take a while to try to find out what im really good at and concentrate on my schooling and this time get good grades. Ive also decided and i suggested this to her that will write down anything good that people say to and any compliments i recieve in a journal at the end of the day and read them when im sad. I will think about imroving on what i dont like about my looks when i feel better about myself in general as a person. I really hope i can do this.
Ialso have a new friend, a girl i met just two months ago and we are best friends. I feel i can talk to her about anything amd she never judges me. I dont feel stupid tellingt her anything. She has problems like me but not as severe(just panic attacks), i love being with her and im glad i have a friend i can finally trust and i think with her help, counselling and hopefully here, i can get better a little everyday.
I really wanna work on the OCD part too, which will hard for me. She knows about this too.
Thanks for reading this, if anyone has any suggestions to help please write thank you,
Lostgirl
