Hi KittyKat,
I also have been living with depression and anxiety since my childhood. I was molested for many years and at one point was held at gun point by my step father and told it was my time to die (the same step father who molested me).
I wish there was a happy pill that would make this all go away and let us feel "normal", whatever that is, but instead we must perservear (sp?).
I understand you are in therapy but am unsure if you are taking any meds. Do you have any support group to talk to (family, friends, etc). If so, I would access this circle and reap the rewards (if there are any).
I also wanted to die and since I smoke I wished cancer would hurry up and take me away from this misery. That hasn't happened and I have since gone on to set daily goals. When my depression is at its worse my goal may be just to get showered or dressed. Other times my goal is to walk to the mailbox and check for mail. Sometimes something like walking to the mailbox is too much so I stick with just getting dressed. Anyway, the point is this helps me focus on my goals and take my mind off of the death that I wish for. I hope this helps some. Please keep us posted as to how you are doing! PS. I have also found that a B-12 shot each week helps with my energy level. How much this helps with depression I am not sure.
Please take care of yourself,
Netty
