Dear Fairychild
Last month, I lost my father-in-law, with whom I had a very close relationship, to cancer. I was alone with him when he died, holding his hand. Afterwards, I started having moments of disassociation, and (with a lot of prodding from my friends) I eventually went to the doctor and was diagnosed with depression. The strange thing is that I have now realised that I was in a depressed state for at least the last year, but I didn't recognise it, and I hid it very well from my friends and family. The shock of my father-in-law's death tipped me over the edge, but it also made me seek help, which I otherwise might never have done. It also made me realise how precious life is.
Your uncle's death is very different, because suicide always leaves families with so many questions and so little comfort, but I hope that you can also find some way to turn this painful experience into growth for yourself.
Take care
Antares
