H carry, Sounds like you are pretty down on yourself,and reaching out for answers that, i have found is with a professional that has knowledge of medication for antidepressents and panic disorders,which include anxiety. I was very negative also about seeing a psycyatrist/pshycologist until i realized the important role each one has. a psycologist listens and with education has the knowledge to get you to see or get out what you problem is .as the psyciatrist prescribes your mediucation and keeps intouch at least once a month to see how it is affecting you.i did not need so much as a downer but a anti depressent, which we are not trained to fully understand the meaning or actions of to different situations. i was on xanax and taken off i am on 3 antidepressents which are helping me and 1 for panic disorder not all react the same in other ppl plz carry think about what i said here and dont be the dr but be a pt listening to a professional in the field of your need for help
Barbara,
Seems like you were pretty busy yesterday. I hope your day went well. I was feeling pretty miserable myself. I cried myself to sleep the night before. And I keep wanting to cry at work. But since I work with my dad and he's always around, I couldn't let him see me in such a distressfull state. So I ended up taking a half of a pill of xanax. I felt so much better other then being really sleepy. I've been avoiding so much not to go see a shrink and medication. So I decided to do some research on what kind of medication is out there and the side effects. I came across what seems to be a good site for clinical depressions. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share other websites so I won't show the address. I've skimmed through the site and seems like it has alot of good insights as well. If you'd like the website maybe I can email it to you or something.
I'm trying so hard to fight all this. I think I'm at a point where I'm just too tired and need a break from it all. You know what? I don't even want to ask to be happy anymore. All I want right now is to not feel all these pain, sadness, and hopelessness. I just don't want to be hurting anymore. Why is that so hard.
Hi Jasmine--I haven't heard you at all . I sure hope you are alright,I wrote a super long letter to you i think it was sat and posted but never saw up
Maybe i did something wrong have a hard time with this anyway.. but i wanted you to know I been thinking about you and know right where your coming from.I slept from sunday 9pm to monday 7am btb by 8am and slept till last night 6pm and up and btb at 11pm and now up. woke at 8am today.
I hope you were able to get out and enjoy the weekend This seems like a good place I just don't understand it all, but try to fit in jasmine cause you do and im sure as the other here we do care for each other,just not easy to participate for some. but reading there letters is inspiring.:-)
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Carry:
I don't know much about God, but I don't think He would punish you for being distracted because of depression. Meditation sounds like a good idea. If you can get your mind to focus on something positive you may be able to lift some of the funk you're in.
I think I want this to be a chance for me to have some closure in some parts of my life. When I come back, I want to be able to feel.. comfortable. Oh how I long to feel that peace of mind. I'm thinking about starting to do meditation. God has guided me well. So I'll meditate in His word so that my life would be more focused on Him and not my own.
I've been getting alot more panic/anxiety attacks lately. I'm starting to think it's because I've been lazy towards God. Whatever it is. I hope it doesn't stay for long. It's really wearing me out.
Korea! That's wonderful. Though you wont leave all your problems behind you, you will have the opportunity to expand your knowledge. Open yourself to wonderful things.
Hi Barbara,
I wrote a really long post earlier but because I kept getting distracted the site logged me out. -_-; Anyway, seems like you had a quiet weekend. I'm sorry to hear it didn't really do anything for you. I'm planning to go visit Korea in Mid Sept for about 2 weeks. I'm hoping to leave behind all the bad things that's keeping me from being happy. But I know that's a long shot and is maybe nothing but a short escape from reality. At least I'll get to see some of my friends and spend time with them.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. It means alot that there's someone out there that truely understands how much I'm hurting. I've also had you in my thoughts throughout the weekend and in my prayers.
Gently running water over smooth stones... That's what I want in my life. Right now, feels like the gently running water is being disturbed by rough stones. But like life, within time, the water will smooth out the rough edges of those stones.
Hello Carry:
I thought that if I got away to a nice resort town & walked around I might get some energy. So instead I allowed my husband to talk me into looking at waterfalls in the mountains. It was beautiful but I still have no ambition. I did think about you when we crossed a little brook complete w/gently running water over smooth stones. Life imitating life?
Hi Barbara,
Did you get through the weekend ok? For me weekends are bit hard at times. Well, it was an uneventfull but tiring and bit stressfull weekend. I've been feeling bit more down then usual lately. And I think I'm this tired because I'm trying not to show how bad I'm truely feeling. I hate waking up in the morning. Not just because I'm tired, but because I have to face reality. Also been getting little panic/anxiety attacks first thing I wake up. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a small pill we can take to make all our pains go away.
I think it's great you still the motivation to workout by yourself. I for one can't do it. Which is why I joined the gym. Forces me to go so I won't feel like I'm wasting the money. If you can't fit it into your budget to join the gym right now, how about finding yourself a workout buddy? How about your husband?? Maybe a neighbor?
Carry:
Thanks for getting back to me. Gyms are really expensive in my area & I can't budget it in right now. I'm using home videos + yoga + weights. Gotta go talk to you later