Hi. I'm new here. I am in my 30s and have been suffering from major depression for about 8 years. I was fine for the last 2.5 years and then last month it started again. THe problem is, I just started grad school (for psychology PhD, no less) last fall. I did well in school and handled all the pressures wonderfully, but then over break, I became very depressed. So far this semester I haven't been able to concentrate on my work. I hide it at school, though I have been awfully quiet lately. Plus I have lots of responsibilities at school that I don't think I'll be able to handle very well in the coming weeks. WHen I come home I just cry. My family and 2 close friends are supportive. I want to drop out but I don't want to make any hasty decisions while i'm having an episode. The problem is I don't know how long this is going to last. Will I ruin my life and my reputation if I quit or take time off, only to recover in a few weeks? Should I come clean with my advisors and classmates? or should I suck it up and suffer through the episode, all the while making mistakes, acting withdrawn, suffering embarrassments, making excuses for my behavior.
My doctor says not to make any major decisions. But maybe I'm just fooling myself. How can I really get through a 5-yr PhD program while suffering future depressive episodes? Maybe I should just be home with my kids and do something low pressure. But that won't be good for me either, the last time I got depressed I was at home with the kids, feeling useless, and that's why I decided to go back to school.
Btw,I've been on fluoxetine (prozac) 60mg for almost 3 weeks and I haven't felt better. I had originally been on 20mg before this episode started, but I guess it was too low.
Any advice?
