Hey all, Hope some out there are still reading :) I am doing pretty good. Each day is better, that's become my motto...lol. I do feel a lot more stable, my depressed mood has definitely been lightened, which is a good thing. I do see joy in things again, which I am very happy about. However, my anxiety is still lingering on. I can get through most of the day feeling ok. However, today I had several attacks...nothing traumatic where I had to leave work or anything. I've been able to calm myself down, but that doesn't change the fact that they are scary when they do happen. The anxiety is different then the anxiety I was feeling before when I was really really depressed. That anxiety was kind of like I don't care about anything so nothing satisfies me and I would get anxious because I couldn't find something enjoyable to do and followed by a rush of negative thoughts which sent me spiraling further into depression. This anxiety is kind of like a quick jolt of energy and feeling like I need to do something but I'm not quite sure what. It then triggers my thoughts to go a little haywire but I have been able to pretty much control my thoughts so I can calm myself down. I don't know if this is like the lingering remnants of getting better or if I am spiraling backwards........because if so, then maybe its not the generic and maybe I do need to switch or get my meds uped. Basically, I'm trying to figure out if this is progress or not?? Any insightful info would be very much appreciated. I also want to hear how you guys are doing so drop a line when you get some time....hehehe, i'm a poet and didn't know it. Much love! Becky

Hey all, I know...right???!! That is something to be happy about. I am worried about Travis right now because he is going through some tough times and I don't quite feel all my strength back yet. But, knowing that I am able to reach out to people like you and Patti makes me realize that I can do it. I still have moments of negative thoughts...its like I'm trying to test it to see if it bothers me..lol, I'm stupid like that, but I do see that the thoughts bother me less and less and feel simple things like feeling a little tired or waking up a couple times at night are not things to completely ruin my whole day. I also have been more productive at work and actually find that I start to enjoy myself if I'm working on something for awhile....which I'm thinking is progress right?? :) Well anyways, that is my update for now...hang in there as I know you will. And Patti, Kate is right..I'm sooooooooo glad you started this forum...be it generic celexa or not, its helped me!!!! Thanks! Becky

Hi Becky, can you BELIEVE that you & I are well enough this week to re-assure Patti that there's an end in sight. Hugs, Kate14

Hi Patti, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling low. I feel I owe you so much for having started this threaad in the first place. I don't know that I ever would have pin-pointed what was causing me such grief, if it hadn't been for you.(or at least not so quickly). I'm glad you've got an appt to-day; that would have been my advice. I don't know how objective I can be at this moment. I currently hold generic Celexa responsible for everything from the Great Flood to the weather. How long have you been bk on the name brand? Have you seen ANY improvement? The only thing that's worked for me (besides time) is TRYING to be positive & telling myself the lows WILL pass, & I just have to outwait them. It's getting easier to do because the space between them is getting longer & they're not lasting as long. Progress?? That doesn't sound like what is happening with you, however. Without meaning to sound like "Pollyanna"..... you've been able to get to work everyday(efficient or not, you're there). You had the strength/determination to make 45 phone calls to get help and you didn't stop until you had found that help. You have a loving supportive mate who's there for you. Yes - there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No - you don't have to live your "entire life" like this. When you start therapy, don't hold anything back. That process works only if you let it. I sincerely hope it works for you; you deserve to feel better. Please keep in touch. We're all here to help each other..... Kate14

Hey Patti, I cannot stress to you enough how similar of a situation I was in with you. I know from being there that you doubt that anyone can ever feel like you are feeling and you think you are never ever going to get out of it. You doubt yourself and you think that it is just something that is permenantly going to be wrong with you. Its not!!!! First of all, I have been on Celexa for a little over 4 years. I am pretty certain that the generic celexa is what screwed with me. I started taking the regular Celexa a week and a day ago to be exact...lol. And I must say, I DO feel better....my anxiety gets at me and tries to tell me I'm not doing better but its just not true, I AM!!! I am 100 times better than I was last week...if you read some of my past posts you can probably see that. However, it is a agonizingly slooooooooow process....one in which you are contantly worrying if you are better, if you are getting better, if you are worse, what is wrong with you, you become totally encompassed in your own world...which sounds like but is the ****HEST thing from being egotistical. I also went through a period where I thought I was bipolar...in fact, I had one yesterday. But its odd because at this moment right now, I can laugh at that because it doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. Switching back to regular Celexa, either psychologically or physically, has made me go through some of the side effects that I went through the first time but I'm dealing with it. Every night when I go to bed, I can look at my day as a whole and say yea, I did have some bad bad times today BUT the day as a whole was better than yesterday. That is how I know that I am getting better. I can feel my confidence coming back and happiness at little things. I am not out of it yet, mornings still are really bad, but I get through it because my hope has returned and I know that later in the day I will feel ok. I also have a wonderful fiance/boyfriend....he has been tremendous through this and I had all the anxiety and fears about putting pressure on him too. He right now is going through a hard time....depression has snuck up on him this week and he is dealing with it and I am trying to help him through as much as I can. But we are getting through and I guess my point

Tis Patti again! Hope you're all doing well. (better than I at least). I have hit an all time low with my depression. I'm not sure if it was the generic Celexa or what. I am so depressed. I can hardly function. Getting out of bed and going to work is the ultimate chore. I spent the entire weekend in bed; sleeping. I cannot concentrate on anything for more than 1 minute. I have no sex drive, (and a great lover), no drive to do anything. I have a great job at which I'm failing miserably at. Believe it or not, I make it here everyday, but once I get here, I pretty much stare at the computer all day. I'm losing hope that my brain will never be right again. I have the most wonderful boyfriend anyone could hope for. He is very supportive, but also very nervous about my condition. He can only understand so much of what depression is like. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone as miserable as me? I have not seen a psych in some time. I called 45 Dr.s yesterday in my area and can you believe no one could see me until the end of April? wow! That was quite disheartening. I finally found a psychologist that could see me today - and then refer me to a Psychyatrist if necessary. I feel as if I'm at my wit's end. I now believe I have bi-polar disorder and not just straight depression. I don't know; I guess I'll leave that up to the Dr to decide. I'm so scared! I don't want to live my entire life like this. I am only 33 years old. I have so much going on that is wonderful in my life; yet I can only concentrate on the bad. Why is that? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Do I blame this on the Generic Celexa? Or just putting off seeing someone for so many years? Any words of advise??? :confuse:

Hey Kate, Its morning...always my worst time. I've had anxiety and several negative thoughts but dealt with it. I am feeling better already though and its only 8:30 :) so I guess that is good. I just wish I could get a better nights sleep. Anyways, just felt like typing an update :) Hope you have a good day! :) Becky

Yay!!! You had an OK day today too!!! That makes me happy :) I'm home now and still doing ok.....feeling much more like myself. Stupid stupid generic celexa!!!Well I hope you have a good/ok/better or whatever day tomorrow :) I will try to too and if I don't...I'll still be ok with it :) Becky

YEAH!! We both had an "OK" day! Can't you just see THAT on a greeting card? a cake? LOL ;p Kate14

Hey Kate, I can say that today I have had an OK day. To some not going through this, lol, that doesn't seem like so much of a triumph. When I first woke up this morning, I was actually OK. Anxiety did kick in for a little while, but I was alright through it. I actually believed that it would soon pass, as it always does and it did. I was able to drive to work today myself which I haven't done for a week. Throughout the day, my mood has been OK...not great, not bad, just normal. My worries have been lessened AND I actually got a good deal of work done today because of it. To top it off, I actually feel the sense of accomplishment at doing so. :) I do feel groggy, which I am atrributing as a side effect of the Celexa.....since I have been off regular Celexa for awhile, its natural to have the side effects when I start back on it. I think the grogginess is also because I'm pretty much at a computer all day at work and as I've said before, I haven't been sleeping great. But I think the sleeping thing is this, almost as soon as I start dreaming I wake up. I have read somewhere that dreaming means you are oversleeping, getting too much REM sleep and enhancing depression....so for me, I think the Celexa is stopping the REM process and is actually a good thing for me right now. But anyways, those are my thoughts for now....just wanted to update. :) Smiles and hugs!! Becky