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for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 57

Depression is bad enough without beating on oneself for it.Poes is so right on. Sometimes it is all I can do to move through the day. When that is the case I try to remember to say that is o.k. That is not to say I like the way I feel or wouldn't change it if I could.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 283

poes that was an excellent posting on 4-19. i also have a guilt trip about not feeling useful and meeting goals. i have to appreciate every small step and minimize my failures. if i look at the consequence of failing most tasks/deadlines/etc...the consequences are not that significant. thanks bob

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11

Hi Poes, Thank you for your perspective. I know that I'm struggling with this since I'm just beginning to work on myself. It's very interesting (and wonderful) to see how some of the things that my therapist said to me (just yesterday - my FIRST session) are being reinforced here. I'm glad that I come here because instead of seeing soooooo many negatives all around me, I'm beginning to the the positives that were ALWAYS there, but I'm not seeing at the moment. my therapist also mentioned that I do need to forgive myself for pain that I'm still holding on. I'm just beginning to work on it. >If you feel like crying, why hold it in? Because you >might spoil what should be an enjoyable moment? as to this comment, I think I said it just because I'm So tired of crying - I'm tired of feeling that sad and crying at every moment and in a way I haven't learned (or re-learned yet) how to allow myself to feel okay with it. It's hard at the moment. One of things that I began to think about when I read your post was why I feel "safer" with those old feelings - it's scary to let them go. I've obviously have hold on to them for MUCH too long that now I feel scared to try and feel happy. it really is scary for me because I've been so unhappy for so long that I don't know how to think otherwise. Too many years of fears. Too many years of low self-esteem. To many years of self doubt. But, I know that I'm slowly making progress and that's probably the way that it should be. I just have to accept (like you said) the process at whatever speed it comes - be patient with myself (my therapist also said that to me)this is probably the hardest for me. I got depressed over a long period of time, so I am beginning to accept that the recovery will take time too. Years of these bad habits are a little hard to break. Thank you for your comments and suggestions and your support - EVERYONE. thank you Poes. T.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4

Dear Poes, Thank you for writing to me. I needed to hear what you said. I am going to give myself permission to be awake and up without having to accomplish anything. I will see where it takes me. I will probably do a lot of sitting but I will let that be okay. I've been afraid of doing nothing. Curling up in bed is a safe comforting place. I will let you know how I do.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 68

Dear Jenn, motivation is not something some people have and others don't, I think. Motivation comes from doing it. I remember when I was depressed, I was not motivated to do anything, brushing my teeth seemed like a chore those days. But again, like I said to ti shaak. Who says you have to fill your time contructively when you are home alone? Maybe you can start to do one little thing and be content with yourself. I do believe that eating well and keeping a regular 8 hour sleep pattern is beneficial, but if you can not.....that is okay too. Motivation comes from doing it a little bit at the time. If you are like me (or the way I used to be), I created mountains for myself. I did not plan to work out, no I planned to work out 7 times a week for at least 45 minutes on a certain level. Who is motivated to do that??? Not me, I was not, so instead I just beated myself up, telling myself that I would never mount to anything anyway and stayed in bed. Negative self-talk takes a lot, a lot, a lot of energy. No wonder I was tired all the time. Sleeping is a great way to avoid pain, the pain inside ourselves. Do not be afraid to be awake and do nothing. That was definitely a starting point for me.....to grant myself the permission that I did not have to do or be anything to be a good person.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 68

Dear Ti shaak, you can not enjoy the moment, because you place too many 'shoulds' onto it, is my quess. Who said that enjoyment is not crying and let it out? If you feel like crying, why hold it in? Because you might spoil what should be an enjoyable moment? Who defined enjoyment for you? Who's responsibility are you loading upon yourself that is not yours? Who's shame, quilt and hurt are you carrying that is wearing you down? Start the walk, accept that everything that happens is alright. Let go of the judgement you might have towards yourself, others, the moment. It is like happiness. I believe happiness is a moment, no more than that, not an overall feeling, although you might feel content most of the time. I have told this before on this website, my depression lifted slowly day by day, by me letting everything happen the way it did. By feeling without judging what I was feeling, by letting every emotion come the way it did. I stopped fighting it, instead I started to have a suprised attitude towards it. Like: he, see now I am feeling frustrated, wonder where that came from. No more than that, I did not started to analize it. I just started to notice it and accept it. It works. You do not have to enjoy the walk. Maybe next time you will, who is to say. Try to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4

Hi bob.... I like what you do with your camera. Thanks for sharing such a pleasant idea since it gets you outside and into the fresh air. This is so helpful to people like us. The reason I just registered on this web site is to get good ideas and advice. I have had depression for many, many years. I was taking three different antidepressant meds all at the same time until just recently. I decided all on my own that I didn't want to be taking that many. So I am seeing if just one will be enough. I am wondering if taking Zoloft would do the job of the three. I may look into it. The worst part of depression for me is not being motivated. When I'm left alone I can't fill my time constructively. Instead I lay in bed too long. I don't get restful sleep so I'm always trying to get there. It's actually painful to be social or get out and do things. I took a depression quiz tonight and was rated as severely depressed. I was surprised that I rated that seriously. I answered no to suicidal thoughts so I thought I was okay. I need to come to a place like this where I can connect with others like myself.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11

But, how do you do it to enjoy the moment? I wish I was where you're at emotionally - mentally. I wish I could do it already. I have an incredible boyfriend who is trying his best to help me along with this and...today, like you, I went outside. We walked along a university in our town. It was really beautiful; couldn't be more perfect, but even when I tried to enjoy the moments and concentrate on him holding my hand, I kept worrying about when it would end. I kept holding back the tears because I didn't know if it was love I felt for him, or sadness because I knew the stinking minutes were flying by and the sun would go down so quickly. I can't enjoy the "moments" anymore. He gets quiet when he sees me change. It's hard to explain to him - it is amazing how helpless this makes me feel. I really wish I could have REALLY enjoyed that time with him, and I'm sorry that I...wented on this positive post because you had a good moment bob - and so did I, but I can't.."feel it" you know? I want to feel it SO bad. How do you tell yourself to enjoy it? How can you remember those moments with your camera with happines? Because I know taht I had beautiful moments with my boyfriend, but, I don't remember them happy - I remember the worry and the racing thoughts about how unhappy I was because itw asn't going to last?

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi bob, Sounds like a great way to spend a beautiful spring day!!! Glad you were able to get out and enjoy the day. Talk to you soon, Casey _________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 283

hi i just went for a walk with my dog and my camera...got out as the sun shone. i take pictures of everything, tires flowers, scenery etc. its digital photography, so its no-cost. then i came in and took some photos of my wife...she liked that..in any event it gets me going. i have some good moments with my wife. it gets me some exercise and makes me feel better. i have a lot to learn about photography so there's a motivating factor there also. just a little something to consider in your lives.

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