hey, one more thing i was thinking if this anxiety over this social complex is over powering you may be you could look into some meds for anxiety? just a thought, do you think that would be something to try? but dont take this as an answer, b/c a doctor would be much more efficiant in recommending something like that, but it all starts with getting it out to someone how you feel. a person can't and won't change unless they want to and are ready to make the sacrifices and put themselves on the line so to speak.

i bet you most of the people at your school feel the same. everyones always wanting more. they never feel fully satisfied with what they have. dont let them get to you just remember theres always someone bigger, stronger, or prettier , so whenever there on there high and mighty trip just laugh because they'll be on there a** soon enough it's happens to everyone. anyone that thinks there perfect has more issues coming there way then you think, trust me.. the family thing is understandable. teens always feel there never understood which for the most part true. young people have so much more giong on in life then say 20 years ago. society has built this standerd of living and how you should dress, act everything. but your family dont completly cross them out from your life b/c whether you choose to believe it or not there the ones that will be with you through thick and thin and in some cases it takes a while for them to come around. i moved out of my parents house when i was 17 but i had to continue to go to school with no vehicle, so i walked to school , i walked to work and i walked home. but i got my diploma and my parents were still proud of me inspite of everything. and you know i dont speak with hardly anyone of my friend from school, so dont rely on people for your happiness b/c your only bound to be disappointed. i have also had alot of people that hated me that have come up to me since schools been out and said hello and were nice. i wasnt to conversational, but you understand 4 years of misery isnt made up in 2 min of hi time. but never the less i was cordial and smiled b/c i know for them to say that they have realized what really matters in life and also they were more then likly dumped and forgotton by all there followers. well i dont know how much i elaborated but i tend to go on and on i hope i was able to shed some sort of light in your darkness.

Thank you... :) for replying to me, it was needed, it helped... thanks :-).

You are going through a normal if painful adolesence. Don't give up. A friend is good for you of whatever sex. Eventually you will give and get the love you need. Your parents are probably trying their best too just as you are! Good luck.

I don't know if this depression website will help me, but I suppose I should give it a try... I'm only a teen, but as much as I hate to say this, I guess I just need to let start letting my self out. My life is pretty bad( I'm not the only one apparently), my family and I don't get along, school would burn before it cared for me, and i just got a very supprizing crush :(. With what family that I live with there's nothing but bad luck there. None of them understand me! It makes me wonder if I'm talking to zombies, with the way they never understand. They all went through my age before they should know how shady it gets. It just frustrates me that whatever I say is taken badly... Should I not be able to be mad at them right back, should I not hit back-example-? Why is it that they are never there, never listening, while I sit and suffer from everyone striking me... School is just as worse... I even got my own nickname, Nightmere, fun isn't it. I don't get it, out of all the schools I get the one with nothing but bad people-except for two groups. There's the jocks-prep hangers, preps-prissy girls that are snobs, Gangsta-prep boyfriends(horrifying), Goths-punks, Anime freaks- reads nothing but manga books, and the betweeners-goes between a variety of groups-funny people. I'm in the Anime group, we either mix with the Goths-well i do-, or stick to our books and group. It's fine being in a group, but the friends are all long distance and I'm a keep to myself person. My grades are also going badly, between my family, and all groups hating me it's no wonder I didn't break down earlier-at least I have one good grade. Lastly, the crush :(. I don't get it, it's like i'm agroed by people who I don't want close. I don't want anyone close, but here it is and a girl asks me out...:/ It's not that bad of a problem, but I needed to here it. I guess I'll have to call her girlfriend, lol, I'm cheering up. She really is a nice person i guess, I just have to live the fact that she's not a guy :)... Please don't reply to this part of my venting-:-)- I just needed to say it. Thank you for listening...