unrequited
sorry about being so upbeat :). i do have a manic side to me, in a very mild way...but it is in no way similar to manic as in manic-depressive. i had a relative who suffered from that, so i have some experience. i don't find it so difficult to write an upbeat message, even if i feel tired and/or confused. i feel i have to function. i have responsibilitiesl. i have to provide for my wife and children etc. i have to rise above my depression. actually it's sort of a desperate struggle and i only partially succeed. i could write a very impressive resume, but alternatively i could also present you with a long list of failures. my worst failure has been in not taking care of my body and acquiring diabetes.
i am attempting to figure out how to get off the treadmill, but in my sorry condition it difficult to initiate change. nor do i get much support from my family.
i credit Toastmasters for bringing out my upbeat side. i learned to look for the positive things in speeches and indeed in people...and so i look for the positive things in life. i also attempt to show a positive face to the world even if i am hurting inside. people really react poorly to a depressed person. i have actually done some fairly amazing things in my life. perhaps i can finally figure out how to beat my depression. actually i don't think i will ever conquer it, but hopefully i can suppress it somewhat.
this site is a neat little tool in my battle. i can compare my situation with others. i pick up some very neat, intelligent insights into life. i feel better when i express my feelings and thoughts.
thanks for replying and reading this
take care
bob
