yep i'm always second guessing myself...i think back to social situations and wish i had behaved differently or said something else. i wouldn't be too concerned about what you write here. i think the readers realize that people go through a variety of mood swings. take care bob

whose is rad? wow i just read over what i had said in that post and i dont know where i was that day, but weird is all i can say has anyone ever written something and then you come back weeks later to find yourself wondering what the h*** you were thinking when you wrote that? i wonder about that in alot of aspects of my life.

Hi down and Out, You re not alone. If you found it easy to exercise you wouldn't be depressed. When you go for sushi park a block or two away. You will get some exercise and not mind it. I am wondering also if your meds need a tweak. Find a doctor who is willing to experiment with you til you feel a little better. It took me a long time to find someone like that but I finally did. And finally, I find if I can pat myself on the back a little for wanting to exercise I do. That is the part of me who is fighting the depression. You are not alone in your struggle! Trisha

Yeah, he's nuts.

At least you're not Rad.

I walk, jog a little. As the fog lifts over the water, the sun makes a statement, as it sparkles brilliantly. So do I hope the fog will clear from my mind as I take exercise in the fresh morning air. bob

working out is so hard it's like i think about it all the time and my apartments has this work out room, but one time i went and the door was locked . i felt so relieved that i didnt have to actually do it, so i went home ate junk food and watched friends. afterwards though i felt so disqusted by myself. i want to look good so bad , but i just lack the motivation. well i recently found out that theres a key you have to ask for to get into the room, nevertheless this has made my efforts even more of a struggle. yesterday i actually got up got in my car and started driving around in the apartment complex tring to find the office. please dont think i am a complete idiot but i just couldnt find it and i was getting so fustrated.its a really big complex with two sides!! i just kept getting a dead end (literally) so i gave up saying all i am doing is wasting gas. my meds or mix of meds has given me no appetite and i get so nauseas every day around 3:00 till i fall asleep and then i wake with a awfull headache. today i am going to eat healthy (except for the twix i just downed) but i am going to eat sushi after work downtown. i am so excited. its been so long since i have had sushi. some of you might be a little squimish to the idea, but trust me i hate seafood, but i like certain things. like the first thing i ever had was california rolls there okay there usually the first thing everyone trys. also catepiller rolls are great! no its not catapillers! oh and philidephia rolls yummm...okay now iam really hungry!!! if you do try sushi though get soybean paper its alot easier to eat i think. after you eat sushi you are so relaxed i dont know what it is but its like after thanksgiving dinner, but with out the bloating and massive weight gain :)it makes me feel so grounded just good like i should then go and practice yoga on some luxurious grassey field with patches of beautiful flowers and butterflies and the most colorful rising sun ever over looking a cliff with the crashing sea splashing up against the rocks misting the air with its presence. if only life could be that beautiful. someone somewhere i read said when your at the end of your rope just tie a knot and hold on. well i have been doing that so long so many times it seems like thats all i am ever doing just