freefall
i am also on meds for bipolar. let me tell you, it was MONTHS before that got the combonation of meds right, or as right as they can be. i was miserable and was feeling suicidal. the meds they had me on were horrible. they kept me feeling like a zombie and yes i was in that deep dark hole you speak of. it was especially hard since i am a single parent. i eventually switched my pdoc. the one i have now is great and seems to really get what i am saying. is there anyway you can get a second opinion? do you see a therapist? also may i ask what meds you take? i take depoke for bipolar. i exhibit other symptoms also, wondering if you do. like the others said, you are not alone. we are all here for you. take care. one moment at a time.
I know that dark place. Been there many times. Funny thing is. If you just look around you might see that you're really not alone down there. But it's so black we can't see each other. Barriers are too high.
It'll pass. You will find your way back out. Sometimes it feels like it won't ever happen but it will. It's so hard, I know. It feels so hopeless, I know.
Hi Freefall
I am truly sorry that you are feeling this way. I know it is not easy. I have also been there and am happy to say that it has been going OK for the past few months.
What I always tried to do if this happened to me was to concentrate on small things that I do that "should" make me feel happy. At night I would take 5 minutes and say "You did good by getting out of bed today", "You did good because you drove to work today". Use anything that you were able to do in spite of feeling this way and congratulate yourself on it. I also used to say this to myself in the mirror. At first it felt odd, and I used to cry to hear someone say this, but eventually it started helping and I was able to congratulate myself on bigger things.
Good luck and please let us know how it is going in your life.
You are clearly the type of person who needs a strong shoulder to lean on. You have lost confidence in your medical provider and this is not uncommon. You need to convey this to him so he can adjust the medication accordingly. Let him see the posting you made and the replies you have received. :)
Dear FreeFall,I have been in that black hol many times. It is an awful experience and I think the best thing to do istry to decide on a daily basis what you might do to keep from falling in because as you say once in it is so hard to get out. I am not saying that we have complete control over falling in the hole but I believe we have some. Exercise is a major deterrent to depression....of course once you are depressed it is very hard to do. It can take a long time to get the medication right so have patience with that and try to take it an hour or few hours or a day at a time...whatever you can do. Also,know that you are ill and treat yourself kindly as you might treat a friend who was sick. Do not put alot of pressure on yourself. Ask yourself what would help you feel a little better and try to do that. Know that you are not alone and the medication you are on will eventually kick in. Good luck, Trisha
Sometimes I feel like I'm in a deep, deep, dark hole that I can't get out of no matter how hard I try. The harder I try to get out, the more it seems like someone is throwing something on top of me to keep me down. It gets hard to breathe. It's like there is no way out. I'm cold and alone. So far I've been able to get myself out somehow. I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to. I'm on meds for bipolar and he keeps changing them to get it right. But so far the hole seems to keep coming back. Any advise? Anyone else feel this way?
