In 1986, my husband turned a shotgun on himself. On that day, in that moment, he not only took his life, but he destroyed mine forever. It's been almost 19 years since that happened, yet I still cry everytime I hear his name. I still feel the pain as if it were yesterday. Is this depression part of the bipolar? How do I ease the pain? I would think that the pain would subside over time, but yet it hasn't. Is my bipolar keeping me from easing the pain and causing me to hold on to the past? What do I do? Any advise? I welcome any and all thoughts, comments and advise.