Maddy
Like yourself i operate a small business. i have poured a lot of emotional energy into it. i am trying to remove myself from it somewhat..in that my success as a person is not related to the success of the business. I need to take some breaks from the business to re-energize myself mentally. i have to take care of my body also by exercising. i have to watch that i don't soothe myself with alcohol too much. the most important thing in your life is your health...both mentally and physically. also you want to maintain a great relationship with your husband. These are the most important things in your life.
Perhaps we shouldn't look at ourselves as failure or successes. We might concede that we failed in one task. we could look at that and say..."I learned something here, and i will change a couple of things in the future." you can say "I did the best that i could"
If you think you screwed up somehow..forgive yourself and others that might have screwed up also.
Looking back, i feel i put way too much into my business, particularly at the expense of my health. i would have liked to have spent more time with my children as they grew up etc etc.
Perhaps if you read some self help info on cognitive behaviour therapy, that would help you....or you could get some counselling along those lines
take care...write often...its good for you.
bob
First visit: excuse the random thoughts. why is it I can help others come to decisions but I can't come to one for myself. I know that life isn't easy and that intellectually my problems aren't as bad as some people have it . When my parents died six years ago (seperatly) over six months, I ws the strong one making the tough decisions and executing them from un hooking my dads life support to finding my mom dead in her apartment, there I took the ball and paid for the funeral cleaned her apartment and went back to work, now a business that I have wanted all my life A restaurnat that I have worked for five years with my hsuband is about to go under If I can't fix it and all I can think of is My dead parents and how I am failing them once again. I"m not a weak person, and I'm not a GOD but just once in my life I just wanted to be a success and have something that someone would be proud of me for and now I feel like a failure all over again.
ok
hey its a great thing that we met on here. i truly enjoy your comments and insights. they cause me to think. they make me feel good. i smile!
I find a lot of intelligent thoughtful comment on the site.
talk to later
:) Hi Bob- i read all of your posts. they make me think, they make me feel good, i mean you really have a gift for writing. i am picturing myself walking up to a complete stranger and saying-"you know- i just feel like **** today." LOL i could only hope they would find me a room with designer padding!!!!!
ok...
thanks for taking the time to read my posting. it does feel good to be communicating with someone. at times during the day i feel frustrated because i can't just go up to people and start telling them how rotten i feel. thanks for sharing your feelings. forgiving ourselves for our failures is very important, i think. thats one of the things that has been drilled into my head on this great site.
take care
bob
hi Bob- yes so many of your post are so positive. i understand what you mean about being able to be positive while you are writing. i am usually pretty good at that myself. depression robs us of so many things. it's nice to see that you realize that the quality of your life is good- when my depression is bad i think my life is awful. nothing is good or right or fair and it never will be again. so indeed i am happy with those small moments of good that happen along the way. i consider them great victories along my journey and i try to remember them for some of the rough times ahead. i'm glad i found these forums and i am especially greatful that i found your posts.
Hello
in past postings i have been very positive and i have ocassinally written about what stresses me out. the quality of my life is actually quite good....but that doesn't solve my unexplainable confused mind and my general fatigue. i am simply depressed. i have to accept that. if i fail ocassionally i have to forgive myself. i have to become pleased with small flashes of happiness...small steps in my struggle.
bob
