Hi everyone,
Well joy of joys the depression is back so I decided to come here to get some support and some help because I sure need it.
I am 29, and have suffered from depression easily since I was 15. I was on Paxil for a while in 2004 and had a great psych. Have gone off the drugs (the side effects of going on and off scared me and I really want to do this naturally). The psych was great but I moved away so here I am.
Having been reading some blogs about survivors of suicide - the families left behind, I am sure I won't kill myself because I don't want to cause pain on others. Not exactly a real reason to live right now but it will get me through today.
I am so tired of this fog. I am so tired of it coming back again and I don't know what I did, or what I didn't do. I know there are some things that are good for me like having friends and having moved and not having any money to go out, it is hard to meet people. Plus, and I know this isn't good for me either, I am feeling different to everyone else, like noone is ever going to like me and boy I hate this. And so the spiral continues.
I am in a 12 step program for my eating disorder and boy that helps a lot. I have also recently taken up running however haven't been looking after either that well over the last few weeks and depression just slides in the door and takes over. I have resigned myself to the fact I am going to have depression forever. I guess I have come here to learn how to live with depression and see what I can do to get better. Hopefully make some new friends and help others along the way.
Take care all.
