dss...its like u took a page out of the book of my life. i have no one to talk to, no one wants to hear it anymore. i think they gave up a looooong time ago trying to understand. i hear alot of "cheer ups" and think positive. its not that easy is it? now im hearing people tell me that my depression is habitual and that really sends me through the roof! if i hear that again i think i will just loose it. its not that i choose to be this way. i do not enjoy feeling depressed and so sad. i dont enjoy being alone and having no one to talk to. when people call me (rarely) i NEVER speak of how i am feeling. i always say im fine or im good. i feel ive taken a billion steps back holding back how i feel. ive been holding in my whole life, thats habitual. right? anyways, i just wanted u to know i read your post and i understand. sorry im not more comfort. i wish you well.

Dear desperately seeking solace, You are sounding extremely discouraged and alone right now. Please know that we are here for you. As frustrating as it may seem at times, don't be discouraged from seeking further help. You do not have to experience these feelings alone. Please take the time to check out our new program offered on site here. It is not meant to replace a doctor/therapist but is designed to help you gain insight into how you are feeling and to help you deal with these feelings. It is a 16 session, interactive, self-guided program based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (which has shown to be effective in reducing the symptoms of depression). You may also find it helpful to access our instant messeging system here to be able to discuss your feelings with members who truly understand what it is like to experience feelings of depression. Be sure to check in and let us know how you are doing. Casey __________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that the people in my life (friends, family etc.) have had enough of my depression and really cannot help me or in a lot of cases...won't return calls or even make the "haven't heard from you in a while" call. I feel as though I am suffering from social leprosy. I make it a point when I do talk to someone of NOT discussing my "illness" as to not end the call sooner than expected. This has become such a lonely disease. Get support from friends and family...something that all depression web sites and therapists talk about. What does one do when no one really WANTS to hear what is going on in my head. I cannot even discuss with my "partner" my feelings as I have to have a "reason" for feeling the way I do. I can never just be depressed. It took me 37 years to talk about my issues...get help for my depression...and now that I have started (2 years now) to open up, people have pulled up anchor and moved on. There are so many times that I wish I hadn't gone through therapy...kept everything in it's respective place and just continued living my lie. I would not have so many evening sitting home alone... I have tried support groups...I just never felt that anyone understood where I was coming from. Even my therapist...I feel all I do is talk, talk, talk and not get far. Don't get me wrong...I know I have made a lot of progress in therapy...It is just not fast enough. The meds I am on (and have changed...and changed...and changed) seem to make some things in my life much more difficult. The hot flashes...headaches...at times, facial twitching...all getting in the way of work. I cannot stand it. With all of this going on...while continuing to "heal" I have a medical doctor rub his genitals against me during an exam (I have written about this before). Talk about your 1 step forward and 20 steps back. I am having a difficult time figuring out what to do...whether to report it or let it go. Why does this stuff continue happening????? I've called hotlines, spoken to my therapists...spoken to MY doctor...nothing is making me feel any better about the situation... There are too many times that I fear I will wither away to nothing right in front of everyone with no one noticing...kind of like being the pink