Hi batty, still here. saw the psychiatrist last week and he upped my Wellbutrin...again. Maximum dosage so i have to be on the look-out for side effects like convulsions. joy.
my son is home on leave from the Air Force which is wonderful but the days left are many fewer now and i'm starting to think about him leaving again. he told me he will probably be deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan sometime in the next three months which scares the h-ll out of me. every time he leaves, i don't know when i'll see him again. an awful feeling.
the last few months i tried a direct-sales business to try to earn a little money in between my college classes and therapy. started out well but it's fizzled out of late. i think i'm choosing to let it go but i can't help thinking that i've failed again.
i feel so trapped in my life. my psychologist keeps promising me that he will never give up on me but h-ll it's been five years and he's over 60 years-old. He's gonna retire someday. can you believe that i am already terrified abotu that? so he tells me that if that happens, he would find another therapist for me and give me time to "transition" but i have such an awful time trusting people, i just can't imagine starting over with another doctor. it's taken so long to get this teeny little distance.
two more weeks until winter break so my classes are winding down. i need to decide where i'm going from this point and i don't have a clue. my pyschologist says that i just need to make a choice. it doesn't have to be the "right" or the "last" choice, I just have to make it. but i'm pretty old to be scr-wing around like this. i feel like i should know what i want to do with the last few years of my life.
anyway, enough for now. hope things are going ok for you.
