I just needed to vent a little and I know he wouldn't agree but I always worry my husband will get tired of hearing me. I start back to work tomorrow after almost 2 weeks off and I am really anxious. This was a really hard Christmas for me as it was the first one without my father. We were very close, and it has been a long hall. That continues to weigh on me more some times than others, but I also struggle a lot with changes in my schedule. Even going from the weekend to Monday is often hard for me, so after 2 weeks it is even worse. My stomach is rolling and twisting so bad sometimes I feel like I'm going to be sick. My husband tries so hard to be supportive and encouraging, but sometimes I feel badly that he has to put up with me when I get like this. I get so frustrated with myself when I slip. I think I'm doing well, and then boom, I'm crying all the time, I just want to sleep, and I either don't want to eat anything at all or everything in sight. It is very discouraging when I do my meditation, journaling, therapy, prayer, and sitting in front of my "happy light" as my husband calls it, and still have such low points. Well, I'm going to get my clothes ready for tomorrow and see if I can get myself calmed down. Thanks to anyone who listens.
