Hi CVM,
It's me again. I guess working is not in the cards right now. I really don't know for sure what comes first, only that it is all related and interacts with the other. I am trying to think back to how my depression became so intense two and a half months ago, and I think it was a gradual climb instigated by extreme bouts of loneliness, mixed with intense anger with no where to run or hide. I was trying to escape from myself, which is impossible to do unless you do the unthinkable. For me, I think the anger is the culprit to my depression, but why am I angry some say, that's the question. Who am I angry with--my husband, my choices in life, myself, I really think all of the above. When I cannot resolve the anger, I think it turns inward into a deep depression. It is a hopeless feeling of anguish that translats into self doubt, irrational thinking and yes even partly due to a chemical imbalance. However, it seems more complicated than just that and I suppose it is. I also wondered why and how some people can be exposed to terrible things, but end up on the rainbow side of life. I think if a person has the right kind of support in their family and community, and can openly discuss how they are feeling with someone important on a daily basis then there is more opportunity for them to cope with depression than those who do not have that type of support. I hope that we all can find some form of turning our lives around for the better, even if it just tiny baby steps. Thanks again and take care
