I'm prunella, 42, and my primary diagnosis is PTSD and Major Depression, recurrent episodes. I was bumped up from Dysthmic D/O about a year ago. I am in a very bad downswing, I was hospitalized a few weeks ago while having a panic attack, I had a few drinks with my ambien, big mistake, luckily I don't recall much, and maybe thats for the best.
About a month ago, when the world was better, I was on track to adopt a little boy, had sold my father's home, moved into a new place for the adoption and had a job I had wanted for years (despite the work being really stressful). I knew that the adoption process would open me up to being questioned about my history, but didn't expect to be so triggered into this by it. I quit my job one day after a silly disagreement, and destroyed the rest as a result.
I am currently feeling somewhere between spaced out and numb, which is better than feeling just too down to even move. I do have a therpist and a psychiatrist with whom I am working. I don't have a really big support network and sometimes feel like I am depending too much on them. I want to be able to function again, and have the next half of my life be less chaotic.