Hey Moth...Just thought I would check in to see how things are going for you. I haven't been on the site much over the past month, so I kind of lost "touch" in more ways than one...
I wanted to wish you a beautiful and peaceful new year!
I understand (from re-reading your original post) your concerns with your partner. I have the same issues with mine knowing how much I love him and he loves me yet feeling that he deserves better. I push myself to get up in the morning, go to work...do whatever "cchores" around the house I have the energy to...as to not put any more demands on him. It is not easy...I just think he is so worth the effort.
I ask him frequently if he wants to end it and find someone else without these issues...he always says no and to not worry about it, comforting me by saying how he knows that this will eventually pass when the meds are correct and the issues are worked through. I know by the look on his face that he is doing what he can to keep me calm. I can do nothing but love this guy.
sorry, I went off on a tangent here...
Please, give yourself a bit of a break. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to. It took me 3 years (not to discourage you) to allow myself to ride the "proverbial rollercoaster" that depression puts you on. I try to enjoy the good days and revel in the occasional great ones, but not judge when things go south. Things do go south...it is just like the happy days...part of this ailment.
Peace to you (and your partner). Again, I wish you the best of the new year!
