Hello again everyone,
Yes, life feels like it's out of control again. Just when things can't get worse....they do. I am trying hard to get better and am attending a class that teaches me ways of coping and self-esteem, I am taking my meds, I am trying to see my Dr.s regularly (hard to get in to them sometimes, seems like there is a lot of us out there),but then I get right back into the dark place. I have recently been let go from my job. Yup, I didn't think they could do that either but they did.
I am a mess. I admit it. I thought I was handling it well but I know now that I was probably in shock because now the realization is hitting me. I know I can find another job in the field I am in...I just don't want to. I am luckily on dissability and hope that this will continue without interruption. But what about later? I have so much to worry about, Home in need of repair (sell or stay?), X that is a piece of work and has managed to mess our son up pretty well too, son that is well on his way to depression (he's only 9), no job, boyfriend that can't commit (even to more than one date a week!... We've been going out for 5 years), Can't seem to dump him as I have no guts (he's a good man and I do love him), I feel lost, alone. I want to find my true life path but I don't know how. I want to find happiness but where to look? I know look inside but all I see is darkness. I don't want to be this way anymore....can anyone share? How do you find your true calling? I can't go through life anymore being someone I am not happy with, doing a job that I hate. Does anyone have any light to shed on this??
